June 1 / 2012

I would like to talk about the simple paper clip and it's use in the medical field. I'm not talking about it's use to hold together reports of a patients history, or by straightening the ends the loop formed can be used to clean wax from an ear canal, of course, I suspect all doctors and nurses would frown upon that practice, besides a bobby pin works as well if not better. No, no, what I'm talking about is it's use as a surgical instrument. You may scoff or have your doubts but I have first hand expereience, the first hand being my right when it comes to tasks requiring manual dexterity, and my right being the one I caught in the door of a van many years ago. You don't need to know the details of the accident, besides they were lost in the mind numbing pain. Anyway, back to the paper clip, oh first I should add, the pressure of the blood building up under the finger nails and having no where to release causes memorable pain. You can actually count your heart beat by watching your fingertips. I seem to remember brushing the hair from my brow, yeah, yeah, I know, but it was that long ago, catching the bright flashes of my fingertips in the rearview, I thought the cops were pulling me over. Back to the paper clip. At emergency I was ushered into a treatment room and the nurse left a paperclip on the table, hum. A few minutes later the doc came in took a quick look at my fingers, squeezed them so I would fall to my knees in pain. He wanted me closer to the floor in case I fainted from the sight of blood. He should have read the Antonini name on the folder, if you were an Antonini and passed out every time you saw blood you would have missed seven of your first ten years. Then the next thing he did, without a word of a lie, was heat that paper clip to a glowing red hot and proceeded to pop it through each finger nail, the ensuing fountains of blood and the release of pressure delayed my amazement. Yes sirree a surgical instrument.
You might ask yourself, how does he remember after 40 years? Glad you asked, because the other day my finger was caught between a rock and...well, another rock. Lucky for me it only pinched the skin, the nail was safe, but the resulting blood blister reminded me of the paperclip incident. You would have thought I would have been more careful the next day when I was trying to release the locking clamps on the gravel truck the tailgate slammed on my finger...nail.They say in certain instances a persons reflexes are like lightening, unfortunately for me they needed to be like greased lightening, which supposedly is very much faster. Now, I don't know why a person hops around on one foot after smashing a finger, perhaps the concrentration it takes to hop across a gravel pit on one leg some how deminishes the message of pain the synapses are emitting. It would have worked to if I hadn't gone over on my ankle.
Anybody out there got a paper clip and Bunsen Burner, oh, and a tensor bandage and maybe a crutch?

Have a great day

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