April 1, 2014

I picked up a terrible sliver at work the other day, it was as bad as I had ever had. A piece of lumber this size would cost a buck and a half at Home Depot. My boss wanted it to cook hotdogs at the lake. I'm taking it home to replace a missing fence post. I couldn't find a pair of pliers, so I had to dig it out with a razor knife, it was in my right hand,so I had to do the surgery with my non-dominant left, by the time I was finished,I needed eighteen stitches. It would have only been 14 but the doc had to dig deeper to get a branch I had missed.
That's not why I'm writing today though. It's Obi again. I went out for a walk the other night to burn off a few calories, you know, just to make his creeping up on me a little more difficult. Obi tried to blame it on the ice, but I'm convinced it was him who kicked my feet out from under me in an attempt to immobilize me for who knows how long. I was going down hard. My right hand said,"Don't even think about using me to break the fall, your brilliant surgical attempt has left me a tad disabled." My left had already shot upward and outward like he was waving at a crowd. My knees screamed, "Don't use us, Ed needs us when he kneels to pray." My hip asked, "Yah. When does Ed ever kneel to pray?" My back replied, "I think they're right, he was kneeling when he got that sliver the other day and I definitely heard him call out to his Savior." My right shoulder said, "I'm not sure that was praying, and, by the way, I'm not available either." That's when my brain piped in, "Ok you idiots, do what I say." "Right elbow, slam yourself backward and try touching Ed's left hip. Left foot, try to touch your ankle bone to Ed's chin. Chin, when you see that ankle bone coming lift up quickly and throw yourself to the right. Right knee follow the path of Ed's chin, and left foot plant yourself firmly and push like hell.".....Ed was on  his feet, a gold medal performance. Had there been a crowd it would have been cheering in a standing O, the judges would hold 10's across the board, well two of them probably would hold  7's, but still, silver's great.
 Actually, there was one old guy shovelling his walk, he had witnessed the recovery with his mouth agape. He gave me a toothless smile and a thumbs up,would have been two thumbs but his other hand had caught the teeth that had fallen from his mouth. The skull said,"Thank you" to the brain. "Don't mention it, we we're in that together."
I had a talk with Obi. He's just tired of creeping and wants to leap and bound. I'm going to have to be a little more vigilant.

Have a great day

Loved