April 2017

There I was, moving across the floor, installing the hardwood planks. I had developed a good rhythm, spinning my mallet to the metal side to place the plank, setting my nailer in place, spinning my mallet to the rubber side to drive the nail. I was going at a good rate until the sweat was pouring off my bald head, I should have repositioned my glasses before they worked their way to the end of my nose. but, I did not. So, when they slipped off the end of my nose I was quick to grab them, maybe a little too quick, and, my mallet was rubber side down at the time. Yep. I smashed my forehead with the metal side of the mallet. Of course it had to be the worst spot to hit, although I'm not sure hitting yourself anywhere in the forehead with a metal mallet is going to do any less harm. I was bleeding profusely and, I was a bit stunned. By the time I realised what happened the scene had gone from looking like an accident to more along the line of a crime scene. To make matters worse I slipped on the blood and landed on my back on a tube of 10 second grab construction adhesive. Now I was stuck to the floor, I started to slide out of my t-shirt until I felt a sliver enter my lower rib cage, I had to slide back into my shirt to rid myself of the sliver. That's ok, I had a knife in my pocket so I was able to cut off my shirt. It's against safety rules to work without a shirt so I was going to have to go home and change. I had walked to work in the morning so I was walking home when the cops pulled up. They said someone had called them about a bloodied half naked man walking down the street, I did have to admit, that would be me. They asked me about the other guy, I said he was 18 inches tall, weighed about 4 pounds, had a steel skull and a rubber face. That's when they told me to get in the car.

Have a great day

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