Monday, January 2, 2017

Happy New Year!!!

That's not a good sign, late on the first posting.
Deanie and I are at an after Christmas, before New Years party. I've forgotten something in the car, I'm not one of those who worries about getting alzheimers, I've forgotten stuff for years, when I was young I used to forget to go to school some days, now that I think of it, that may have just been the excuse I used. It's -25 out and you can see some Christmas wrapping fly by so the wind is in the 30 to 40 km/h range, we're looking at maybe -39 wind chill, exposed skin will freeze in minutes. I only plan on being out for seconds, so I'm not putting on a 30 pound parka, my t-shirt will do. You know when they say, "All brawn and no brains", they had me in mind. Come on people! It's the middle of winter, it's Lumsden, it's Saskatchewan, who leaves their lawn sprinkler out. In defense of my eyesight, it was camouflaged by a light coating of snow. I went down like a ton of bricks, oops, I just thought of dad, I'm going to change that. I went down like close to 200 pounds of bricks. I still have the reflexes of a cat, ok, sure, a 65 year old cat, but, still a cat. My hands are still pretty quick, don't get me wrong they weren't all that fast to begin with. I never had the speed of a Wild Bill or Doc Holliday, Doc would have shot me 6 times before my Colt cleared leather and Hickok would have just used me for target practice. I did get my hands out in front of me though, too bad they ended up on either side of a tree trunk. It was my face that slowed the fall, slowed is the operative word there, according to Sir Isaac's law I was destined to contact the ground. Unlike a cat I prefer to land on my back , so I twisted my body around. Yeah, that only managed to give me a cyclone looking scuff mark on my forehead. My bottom hand hit the tree trunk and now was out of position to stop my fall. It was my elbow that brought my body to rest and drove my shoulder into the side of my head. Now, I could say I've never had a concussion but I think history would prove me a liar, so, when I saw the light at the end of the tunnel this time, I rushed toward it. You know what? It's just a bunch of stars circling around. When I came back there was a feeling of warmth on my left side. When you step in a pile of it, it's bad enough but when you're lying in it, yuck. I had to discard my shirt. So, I'm walking around in a daze, half naked, when the RCMP drive by. The officer is mumbling something about public intoxication. Ok, now I'm doing a sobriety test, the numpty asks me to close my eyes and touch my finger to my nose. I close my eyes, there's those stars again, but my nose is about six times bigger because it was the first of my face to hit the tree trunk, easy pass. He tells me to get inside. Gladly. It's nice to be warm again. Oh! Gotta go, I forgot something in the car.

Have a great day

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