Have you ever tried typing with a two by four. Writer's block continues. We are looking forward to the family Christmas party.
have a great day
Loved
Sunday, December 1, 2019
Friday, November 1, 2019
November 1 2019
Using a loose definition of what a writer actually is.... I have writer's block.
Have a good day
Loved
Have a good day
Loved
Monday, September 30, 2019
October 1, 2019
Don't you just love it when....the conversation starts:
Did you say your name was Antonini?
Yeah
I think I met your brother.
Yeah? Which one?
Do you have more than one?
I have six
What! Holy shit, that makes you seven.
Yeah
Do all seven ever get together?
Sometimes
Is it fun?
It's great.
Wow! lucky you, that's amazing...
Do you have any sisters?
Did you say your name was Antonini?
Yeah
I think I met your brother.
Yeah? Which one?
Do you have more than one?
I have six
What! Holy shit, that makes you seven.
Yeah
Do all seven ever get together?
Sometimes
Is it fun?
It's great.
Wow! lucky you, that's amazing...
Do you have any sisters?
Monday, September 2, 2019
September 2019
Don't you just hate it when...You're walking up your basement stairs favoring your left side because your back is sore from trowelling a new topping on your driveway the day before. Your body is listing to the left when you catch your shoulder on an outcropping of trim on the wall separating the stairs from the kitchen. The force of the impact tears an opening in your shoulder and the resulting blood stains the new white t-shirt you were so proud you found at the great price of $6 at Walmart.. Now your pride is shattered because you've spent $6 on a paint rag. Don't you just hate that.
Have a great day
Loved
Have a great day
Loved
Monday, July 1, 2019
Saturday, June 1, 2019
June 1, 2019
Episode 15
Trapped
After 28 years working on all types of flooring I came in to contact with a fellow who specialized in hardwood flooring. He was looking for someone to help with a show home he had a contract for. I was looking for work at the time and it turned out to be a good fit. It's 24 years later and we continue to install hardwood as a team. It didn't always go smoothly though. I remember one particular day, Pat had gone for supplies and I stayed behind to get some flooring installed. I was going along at a pretty good clip, slamming boards together and nailing them in place. All of a sudden I felt a pain in my left ankle...no, I did not put a nail in my ankle, nor did I hit my ankle with the mallet. What happened was, when I went to move to the next board, my shoelace tightened forcefully at my ankle. I had nailed the lace between two boards. You know those knots that happen and it doesn't matter what you do it just won't come undone, yeah, this was one of those. The shoe was too tight to remove my foot and nobody was around to help out. I could see my utility knife across the room on one of the boxes. I thought of Yoda's instructions in the Star Wars saga, "Use the power of the force, Luke". Stupid little puppet, that didn't work. I went into puzzle solving mode. I had the mallet and nailer in hand and a bunch of hardwood in reach. The knife was about 12 feet away, or, for those of you who forget what a foot is, about 4 meters. I nailed four pieces of wood together. Ha. Now I could use the force, it just happened to be at the end of a pretty gnarly looking stick, which turned out to be quite a bit harder to control than a Jedi light sabre. It took a while but I finally knocked the knife to the floor. I worked it toward me, pushing boards out of the way and inching it closer and closer. It took all my patience to keep my wits about me and after about 20 minutes I was able to reach it. What the hell, it didn't have a blade in it, son of a...gun. There was a box of blades in my tool box but I'd need to add another board to my light sabre. It took another 20 minutes to knock my box over and free the box of blades. I started manipulating the box across the floor, moving boards from it's path as I coaxed it across the floor. It was just about within reach when I heard, "You need some help with that?" Pat was standing behind me. "When did you get back?" I asked.
"About 30 minutes ago."
"What the hell, why didn't you say so?"
"I couldn't believe your patience, I would have snapped long ago."
" And yet you had the patience to watch."
" Yeah, well I was eating lunch."
"You better cut me loose." I bristled.
"Yeah, of course, but maybe put the mallet down first."
That was probably a good idea.
Have a great day
Loved
Trapped
After 28 years working on all types of flooring I came in to contact with a fellow who specialized in hardwood flooring. He was looking for someone to help with a show home he had a contract for. I was looking for work at the time and it turned out to be a good fit. It's 24 years later and we continue to install hardwood as a team. It didn't always go smoothly though. I remember one particular day, Pat had gone for supplies and I stayed behind to get some flooring installed. I was going along at a pretty good clip, slamming boards together and nailing them in place. All of a sudden I felt a pain in my left ankle...no, I did not put a nail in my ankle, nor did I hit my ankle with the mallet. What happened was, when I went to move to the next board, my shoelace tightened forcefully at my ankle. I had nailed the lace between two boards. You know those knots that happen and it doesn't matter what you do it just won't come undone, yeah, this was one of those. The shoe was too tight to remove my foot and nobody was around to help out. I could see my utility knife across the room on one of the boxes. I thought of Yoda's instructions in the Star Wars saga, "Use the power of the force, Luke". Stupid little puppet, that didn't work. I went into puzzle solving mode. I had the mallet and nailer in hand and a bunch of hardwood in reach. The knife was about 12 feet away, or, for those of you who forget what a foot is, about 4 meters. I nailed four pieces of wood together. Ha. Now I could use the force, it just happened to be at the end of a pretty gnarly looking stick, which turned out to be quite a bit harder to control than a Jedi light sabre. It took a while but I finally knocked the knife to the floor. I worked it toward me, pushing boards out of the way and inching it closer and closer. It took all my patience to keep my wits about me and after about 20 minutes I was able to reach it. What the hell, it didn't have a blade in it, son of a...gun. There was a box of blades in my tool box but I'd need to add another board to my light sabre. It took another 20 minutes to knock my box over and free the box of blades. I started manipulating the box across the floor, moving boards from it's path as I coaxed it across the floor. It was just about within reach when I heard, "You need some help with that?" Pat was standing behind me. "When did you get back?" I asked.
"About 30 minutes ago."
"What the hell, why didn't you say so?"
"I couldn't believe your patience, I would have snapped long ago."
" And yet you had the patience to watch."
" Yeah, well I was eating lunch."
"You better cut me loose." I bristled.
"Yeah, of course, but maybe put the mallet down first."
That was probably a good idea.
Have a great day
Loved
Wednesday, May 1, 2019
May 1 2019
I didn't have time to post in time to beat the first post on May 1. Louise is awesome, a little quick, but awesome.
Episode 14
Wallpaper
Yes, glorious wallpaper. I remember dad doing it back in the day, I don't remember mom helping though, maybe that's the secret. It might not be something you do with a spouse. I don't know if any of you have tried it, cut a piece, roll it up, spin it through a tray of water and hang it up on the wall. That's actually when the real fun begins, you have to squeeze all the air bubbles out, then it's not quite straight enough so you pull it back to straighten it and the air bubbles are worse, then you squeeze them just a little too hard and the sheet rips. That one gets ripped off the wall, thrown away and you cut another. The process starts all over again, by the time the room is complete you're pretty much down to each others last nerve, but even that subsides when you start studying the results. Just about when you're ready to forgive each other you notice the light switch...it's not there... it's buried under the paper! Somebody forgot to cut it out. A simple fix. I get my utility knife and a little metal square to keep the cut straight, the knife blade is a little dull from having cut in a room of wallpaper for the last 14 and a half hours. I have to press the blade a tad hard to get through the paper and then it happens. The blade catches the electric wiring...listen, I'm not that dumb, I had turned off the power. However, we had thought we were done and I'm terribly forgetful, we had turned it back on. The shock went up my right hand across my shoulders and down to the little metal square in my left hand. You must understand by now, this is no biggie, I've been shocked before, but the wallpaper, oh lord, the wallpaper, burnt from the floor to ceiling and across to the door casing! Jesus Christ...I not swearing... I'm praying my wife doesn't say the wrong thing.
Have a great day
Loved
Episode 14
Wallpaper
Yes, glorious wallpaper. I remember dad doing it back in the day, I don't remember mom helping though, maybe that's the secret. It might not be something you do with a spouse. I don't know if any of you have tried it, cut a piece, roll it up, spin it through a tray of water and hang it up on the wall. That's actually when the real fun begins, you have to squeeze all the air bubbles out, then it's not quite straight enough so you pull it back to straighten it and the air bubbles are worse, then you squeeze them just a little too hard and the sheet rips. That one gets ripped off the wall, thrown away and you cut another. The process starts all over again, by the time the room is complete you're pretty much down to each others last nerve, but even that subsides when you start studying the results. Just about when you're ready to forgive each other you notice the light switch...it's not there... it's buried under the paper! Somebody forgot to cut it out. A simple fix. I get my utility knife and a little metal square to keep the cut straight, the knife blade is a little dull from having cut in a room of wallpaper for the last 14 and a half hours. I have to press the blade a tad hard to get through the paper and then it happens. The blade catches the electric wiring...listen, I'm not that dumb, I had turned off the power. However, we had thought we were done and I'm terribly forgetful, we had turned it back on. The shock went up my right hand across my shoulders and down to the little metal square in my left hand. You must understand by now, this is no biggie, I've been shocked before, but the wallpaper, oh lord, the wallpaper, burnt from the floor to ceiling and across to the door casing! Jesus Christ...I not swearing... I'm praying my wife doesn't say the wrong thing.
Have a great day
Loved
Monday, April 1, 2019
April 1, 2019
Episode 13
A day in the life.
The alarm didn't go off. I was late before the day started. I jumped out of bed in a hurry and stepped on the clothes I left on the floor the night before. My feet went out from underneath me and I caught my forehead on the night table. I stood up in a daze and stumbled toward the closet, knocking one of the doors off it's track. I would have to have a quick bowl of cereal, but the milk was sour, ok, a piece of toast then. You're probably thinking I burned it, you'd be wrong, the bread was mouldy. No breakfast. Out at the truck I realise it wasn't plugged in last night, I back the car out of the garage and boost the truck. I make it as far as the corner when I have to help a neighbor through the heavy snow of last evening. Just as he gets going around the corner I find my coat sleeve is caught in his bumper, not to worry, there's a stop sign right away. Too bad for me he's one of those who goes through the stop sign like, well...it's not even there. I manage to slip out of my coat before he hits the thoroughfare, I watch as my coat bounces along behind his car. When he gets home tonight, if there's anything left, maybe I'll get it back. At work I find the shop has sent the wrong adhesive, once I get the right stuff I'll have to work twice as hard to get back on schedule. After work the roads are like a curling rink, I have to ease into a snow bank to prevent rearranging the side panels of a car that has lost control in front of me. My arms are burning after digging myself out but I finally pull up to my house. I plug in this time, then, like a numpty. I trip over my own cord and scrape my cheek on one of the thousands of trees the city has planted. I stumble into the house and drop to my knees exhausted. Deanie is at the kitchen counter, she calls out, "DADDY'S HOME". Two little girls bound out of their room, skip through the living room and dive into my arms with hugs and kisses. What a great day!
Loved
A day in the life.
The alarm didn't go off. I was late before the day started. I jumped out of bed in a hurry and stepped on the clothes I left on the floor the night before. My feet went out from underneath me and I caught my forehead on the night table. I stood up in a daze and stumbled toward the closet, knocking one of the doors off it's track. I would have to have a quick bowl of cereal, but the milk was sour, ok, a piece of toast then. You're probably thinking I burned it, you'd be wrong, the bread was mouldy. No breakfast. Out at the truck I realise it wasn't plugged in last night, I back the car out of the garage and boost the truck. I make it as far as the corner when I have to help a neighbor through the heavy snow of last evening. Just as he gets going around the corner I find my coat sleeve is caught in his bumper, not to worry, there's a stop sign right away. Too bad for me he's one of those who goes through the stop sign like, well...it's not even there. I manage to slip out of my coat before he hits the thoroughfare, I watch as my coat bounces along behind his car. When he gets home tonight, if there's anything left, maybe I'll get it back. At work I find the shop has sent the wrong adhesive, once I get the right stuff I'll have to work twice as hard to get back on schedule. After work the roads are like a curling rink, I have to ease into a snow bank to prevent rearranging the side panels of a car that has lost control in front of me. My arms are burning after digging myself out but I finally pull up to my house. I plug in this time, then, like a numpty. I trip over my own cord and scrape my cheek on one of the thousands of trees the city has planted. I stumble into the house and drop to my knees exhausted. Deanie is at the kitchen counter, she calls out, "DADDY'S HOME". Two little girls bound out of their room, skip through the living room and dive into my arms with hugs and kisses. What a great day!
Loved
Friday, March 1, 2019
March 1 2019
Episode 12
The day I met Jesus
I saw Him there sitting by a tree
It looked like He was waiting for me
You look familiar, I said, do I know you
Maybe, He said, you look familiar too
Would you like to chat, He said with a smile
I thought sure, so I sat for a while
He asked what I'd like to talk about
I said, there's so much I haven't figured out
We've talked before to tell you the truth
I came to you often in my youth
I'm older now I don't call your name
I'd like to sometimes but it's not the same
I asked, is there something from me you need
Maybe some great important deed
He said, I did that, way back when
It doesn't have to be done again
You're tiring out my angels Ed
If not for them you'd long be dead
Be careful and kind is your daily task
Nothing more, that's all I ask.
Well, I guess it was too much to ask, because there I was standing on my roof removing tons of snow. I know, I know, I can remember at least one of you telling me I shouldn't be on the roof. Hey, listen, don't feel bad, I didn't listen to Jesus either. Anyways, I've already moved a couple tons of snow and have only a couple more to go when I lose my footing. I try to dig my shovel into the snow to slow my descent but it just jettisons from my hands somewhere into the air. Good news is I'm sliding at a relatively slow pace. Good news is the angle I'm on will bring me in close proximity to my ladder. Good news is I am able to snag the ladder when I hit the launch point from the roof. Great news is I'm on the ladder with a good grip. Bad news. The ladder is tipping sideways, sliding along the eaves trough. Option 1, my safety harness stops me before I hit the ground. Except, my safety harness is still hanging on the wall...in the store. Option 2, I could jump from the ladder to the trampoline and bounce off gently to the ground. Except, we don't have a trampoline. Option 3, the hot tub, I could land in the hot tub, after all, daredevils jump from greater heights into inches of water without getting hurt. However this February has been so cold the water is probably frozen, not only that, we got rid of it 20 years ago. My last option, grab the eaves trough with my free hand and try to stop the fall. I knew it was going to be tough to stop the momentum of me on the ladder with one arm, it was my weaker one at that, but it stopped. My ego swelled at the accomplishment. That's when I heard Deanie's voice. "What are you doing lying on the snow?" It turns out the snow I had piled from the roof was built up to the underside of the eave and the ladder was now leaning against it, it had stopped the ladder. I simply rolled over and slid down the slope to Deanie's feet. "You're not leaving that there, I can't see out the front window."
Where'd my shovel go?
Loved
The day I met Jesus
I saw Him there sitting by a tree
It looked like He was waiting for me
You look familiar, I said, do I know you
Maybe, He said, you look familiar too
Would you like to chat, He said with a smile
I thought sure, so I sat for a while
He asked what I'd like to talk about
I said, there's so much I haven't figured out
We've talked before to tell you the truth
I came to you often in my youth
I'm older now I don't call your name
I'd like to sometimes but it's not the same
I asked, is there something from me you need
Maybe some great important deed
He said, I did that, way back when
It doesn't have to be done again
You're tiring out my angels Ed
If not for them you'd long be dead
Be careful and kind is your daily task
Nothing more, that's all I ask.
Well, I guess it was too much to ask, because there I was standing on my roof removing tons of snow. I know, I know, I can remember at least one of you telling me I shouldn't be on the roof. Hey, listen, don't feel bad, I didn't listen to Jesus either. Anyways, I've already moved a couple tons of snow and have only a couple more to go when I lose my footing. I try to dig my shovel into the snow to slow my descent but it just jettisons from my hands somewhere into the air. Good news is I'm sliding at a relatively slow pace. Good news is the angle I'm on will bring me in close proximity to my ladder. Good news is I am able to snag the ladder when I hit the launch point from the roof. Great news is I'm on the ladder with a good grip. Bad news. The ladder is tipping sideways, sliding along the eaves trough. Option 1, my safety harness stops me before I hit the ground. Except, my safety harness is still hanging on the wall...in the store. Option 2, I could jump from the ladder to the trampoline and bounce off gently to the ground. Except, we don't have a trampoline. Option 3, the hot tub, I could land in the hot tub, after all, daredevils jump from greater heights into inches of water without getting hurt. However this February has been so cold the water is probably frozen, not only that, we got rid of it 20 years ago. My last option, grab the eaves trough with my free hand and try to stop the fall. I knew it was going to be tough to stop the momentum of me on the ladder with one arm, it was my weaker one at that, but it stopped. My ego swelled at the accomplishment. That's when I heard Deanie's voice. "What are you doing lying on the snow?" It turns out the snow I had piled from the roof was built up to the underside of the eave and the ladder was now leaning against it, it had stopped the ladder. I simply rolled over and slid down the slope to Deanie's feet. "You're not leaving that there, I can't see out the front window."
Where'd my shovel go?
Loved
Thursday, January 31, 2019
Feb 1, 2019
EPISODE 11
Don't you just hate it when...
You wake up in the morning, it's an exciting day. If you can make it through the day it will be 30 days without an accident, breaking your record of 29. Now, instead of feeling sheepish when saying " I've gone a whole month without an accident," because February is the only month that fits, you can add September, April, June and November. Of course, you're aware that you have to wash the windows inside and out today and the ladder incident of last year is still fresh in your mind, but, that's a whole other story. You're ready today, you bought two extension poles, one with a scrub brush and the other a squeegee. There will be no ladder today, both feet will be planted on solid ground.
You jump out of bed, grab a pair of socks and lift your foot to clothe it. You look at your foot back on the floor, sans sock. It looks back up at you, " Hey, I was just following the knee". "Don't put it on me ," the knee says," I haven't been that high in years, the chest would have to come down to meet me." " I'm all in," says the chest, " let's do this." Up comes the knee, the foot follows, chest dips to meet them, hands firmly hold the sock ready for entry. Somebody really should have said something to the ankle, he didn't do his part. Only the big toe caught the sock and the hands aren't letting go, I'm hopping on one foot across the room trying to regain my balance, it's not working, I'm heading for Deanie's chest of drawers. This is a monster of a piece of furniture, built to last, loaded with clothes and as immovable as a brick wall. To make matters worse, there's another identical right beside it. If I hit these things the outcome will not be in my favor. I veer to the right. Wham! Right into the laundry hamper, it's made of wicker. It explodes. Deanie lifts her head off the bed, night brain tells her there's a wicker quilled porcupine on the floor before she realizes it's just me, she goes back to sleep. I spend the next twenty minutes picking quills out of my side, it looks like I have chicken pox, only just on one side of my body. Tomorrow...day 1
Loved
Don't you just hate it when...
You wake up in the morning, it's an exciting day. If you can make it through the day it will be 30 days without an accident, breaking your record of 29. Now, instead of feeling sheepish when saying " I've gone a whole month without an accident," because February is the only month that fits, you can add September, April, June and November. Of course, you're aware that you have to wash the windows inside and out today and the ladder incident of last year is still fresh in your mind, but, that's a whole other story. You're ready today, you bought two extension poles, one with a scrub brush and the other a squeegee. There will be no ladder today, both feet will be planted on solid ground.
You jump out of bed, grab a pair of socks and lift your foot to clothe it. You look at your foot back on the floor, sans sock. It looks back up at you, " Hey, I was just following the knee". "Don't put it on me ," the knee says," I haven't been that high in years, the chest would have to come down to meet me." " I'm all in," says the chest, " let's do this." Up comes the knee, the foot follows, chest dips to meet them, hands firmly hold the sock ready for entry. Somebody really should have said something to the ankle, he didn't do his part. Only the big toe caught the sock and the hands aren't letting go, I'm hopping on one foot across the room trying to regain my balance, it's not working, I'm heading for Deanie's chest of drawers. This is a monster of a piece of furniture, built to last, loaded with clothes and as immovable as a brick wall. To make matters worse, there's another identical right beside it. If I hit these things the outcome will not be in my favor. I veer to the right. Wham! Right into the laundry hamper, it's made of wicker. It explodes. Deanie lifts her head off the bed, night brain tells her there's a wicker quilled porcupine on the floor before she realizes it's just me, she goes back to sleep. I spend the next twenty minutes picking quills out of my side, it looks like I have chicken pox, only just on one side of my body. Tomorrow...day 1
Loved
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
JANUARY 1 2019
Happy New Year
Episode 10
The Christmas Season
I was hoping to ride out December on a sleigh but it was harder than I thought. First of all I wasted some time looking for reindeer, which are really hard to find by the way, then I realized it wasn't Santa's sleigh, it was just an open sleigh. I only needed one horse. We started out ok but it wasn't long before we threw a shoe. Farriers are another thing hard to find so I just grabbed another horse. This one was really distracted by the trappings of Christmas, it got caught up in the lights and then wanted a sleigh with the easy glide skis, I had to let it go. I put blinders on the third horse, that should keep his mind focused on the task. We were doing ok until we hit a patch of dry ground. I got out to walk along side the horse to make it easy but it made me feel lonely, the horse just ignored me, I can't really blame him, he didn't notice me, he had blinders on. We made a few stops along the way, the 23rd was a particularly good day. I even had a few people join me in the sleigh that evening. I abandoned the sleigh on the 24th to spend with my grandkids, and my daughter Heather kept me company until the 27th. Back on the sleigh I started making plans for the New year, I'm hoping it to be better than 18. I'll leave the sleigh in the snow and go on by foot...
Loved
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