No excuses, just late again.
Loved
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Sept 2014
You'll have to forgive my being late with the September post, I am still recovering from the reunion.
Have a great day
Loved
Have a great day
Loved
Friday, August 8, 2014
August
I see I really dropped the ball on the August entry. It's the 8th already, I missed by a whole week. I hope I'm not that late for anything else this month.
Have a great day
Loved
Have a great day
Loved
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
July 2
Isn't Canada Day great, people flock to the parks by the thousands to share their pride and love for Canada. Too bad they don't think enough of it to take their garbage when they leave.
Have a great day
Loved
Have a great day
Loved
Sunday, June 1, 2014
June 1, 2014
There are not many days of the year that I'll miss taking a walk around Wascana Lake. The other day was one I wish I had.
I was walking along the north shore on a concrete wall which protects against erosion, it's on the same level as the path, I use it to give the joggers and runners a little more room to breeze by. It was on a blind corner that it happened, some kamikaze bike rider came around and gave me the choice to sidestep or drastically impede his progress with my privates. With those same reflexes of a cat that I should be famous for by now, I jumped to the side. You guessed it. The wrong side. I was in the lake. I panicked, I had about 17 seconds of air in my lungs and my arms and legs were moving so fast it was spent in about 12. Now I had a decision to make, take the chance of getting a mouth full of Wascana Lake water or watching my life pass before my eyes........the first thing I saw was a hockey Night In Canada game, back then the broadcast started halfway through the second period and it was pretty much impossible to follow the puck, the only way you knew someone had scored was when the players raised their sticks in jubilation. Now, there's half hour of pregame banter, the game itself, and another half hour of postgame analysis. It's still pretty much impossible to follow the puck and the only way you know someone scored is when the players raise their sticks in jubilation. The next thing I saw was Bonanza, the TV show, a western about a rancher and his three sons except you ever only saw two because the third was always off on some cattle drive. I'm thinking, "come on God give me a break." Next, I'm with a bunch of people by the castle at the beach and we're watching this little kid walking up the hill with a fishing pole, the only fish he's caught is himself, the hook is stuck in his calf muscle, I'm joining the others in side splitting laughter until I realize the little guy is me. "Jesus Christ, throw me a bone here." That's when I remembered Don Wahlberg, after marrying one of the Antonini girls, telling Tony that he wasn't worried about being thrown into Wascana with cement boots because he would just stand up and he would only be knee deep. So I stood up, it was just above my knee. Don's a bit taller than me.
Have a great day
Loved
I was walking along the north shore on a concrete wall which protects against erosion, it's on the same level as the path, I use it to give the joggers and runners a little more room to breeze by. It was on a blind corner that it happened, some kamikaze bike rider came around and gave me the choice to sidestep or drastically impede his progress with my privates. With those same reflexes of a cat that I should be famous for by now, I jumped to the side. You guessed it. The wrong side. I was in the lake. I panicked, I had about 17 seconds of air in my lungs and my arms and legs were moving so fast it was spent in about 12. Now I had a decision to make, take the chance of getting a mouth full of Wascana Lake water or watching my life pass before my eyes........the first thing I saw was a hockey Night In Canada game, back then the broadcast started halfway through the second period and it was pretty much impossible to follow the puck, the only way you knew someone had scored was when the players raised their sticks in jubilation. Now, there's half hour of pregame banter, the game itself, and another half hour of postgame analysis. It's still pretty much impossible to follow the puck and the only way you know someone scored is when the players raise their sticks in jubilation. The next thing I saw was Bonanza, the TV show, a western about a rancher and his three sons except you ever only saw two because the third was always off on some cattle drive. I'm thinking, "come on God give me a break." Next, I'm with a bunch of people by the castle at the beach and we're watching this little kid walking up the hill with a fishing pole, the only fish he's caught is himself, the hook is stuck in his calf muscle, I'm joining the others in side splitting laughter until I realize the little guy is me. "Jesus Christ, throw me a bone here." That's when I remembered Don Wahlberg, after marrying one of the Antonini girls, telling Tony that he wasn't worried about being thrown into Wascana with cement boots because he would just stand up and he would only be knee deep. So I stood up, it was just above my knee. Don's a bit taller than me.
Have a great day
Loved
Thursday, May 1, 2014
May 1 , 2014
I was wearing a pair of Dawgs tonight, you know, those sponge rubber shoes, that if you wear often enough, make your feet so tender you can't even step on a popcorn kernel without cringing to your knees in pain. Some people know them as crocks, Dawgs are a brand name and they have a number of small paw prints on the soles. If a tracker was tracking you he might think a herd of Mexican Cheewawas were stalking you.
Anyways, I was wearing a pair of Dawgs on my way down the stairs when one of them slipped off and caused me to lose my footing. Hoping to avert a catastrophe I grasped the railing. Unfortunately for me it just popped off the wall like a pushpin out of drywall. Lucky for me it swung so hard against the opposite wall as to put a hole right through it and wedge itself there. Once again Albert's equation comes to mind. There was a build up of energy as the mass of my body gained velocity. The railing bowed just like a bow ready to release it's arrow. I've sometimes wondered when you jump with a bungee cord, if, at the exact moment it reaches it's limit and begins to retract, you could release it and drop to the ground unharmed. You would need precise timing, that's how I felt when the bow of the hand rail reached it's limit, however, I missed the opportunity and was flung back toward the wall from whence I had started. The good news was I was headed upward, the bad news was I hit my head with such force it put another hole in the drywall. I understand that when you're unconscious you sometimes do better in a fall. I was on the basement floor when I woke up not too bad for wear. I know science has told us we only use 10 % of our brains. I'm starting to think mine uses about two and a half. As I was laying on the floor, 96% of my brain should have been saying, "Eddie boy, it's time to call it a night." Instead the other 2 and 1/2 was saying. "Hey, Eddie boy, I think we got time to finish installing the bathroom sink.
Next thing I know, I'm lying on my back trying to wedge myself through the opening under the sink. E=mc2, that's the one. My feet and legs were providing the energy, my shoulders were the mass, but, I'm telling you there wasn't any speed. Not until that middle support between the doors broke. Then there was speed, I shot into that opening fast, the only thing that slowed me down was my head hitting the drywall again. That's when I saw it, the light at the end of the tunnel, I know some people say don't go toward the light, but, I was just going to take a quick peek. That's when I took the blow to my eye. Turns out, the light was coming from the upper end of the drain pipe. I thought the tunnel looked a tad tight but in my defense I didn't think the body came with. I could be a freak in a circus show. HALF MAN HALF RACOON. Instead I'm just another guy with a black eye. Anyway, I have to go I've got a couple holes in drywall to fix.
Have a great day
Loved
Anyways, I was wearing a pair of Dawgs on my way down the stairs when one of them slipped off and caused me to lose my footing. Hoping to avert a catastrophe I grasped the railing. Unfortunately for me it just popped off the wall like a pushpin out of drywall. Lucky for me it swung so hard against the opposite wall as to put a hole right through it and wedge itself there. Once again Albert's equation comes to mind. There was a build up of energy as the mass of my body gained velocity. The railing bowed just like a bow ready to release it's arrow. I've sometimes wondered when you jump with a bungee cord, if, at the exact moment it reaches it's limit and begins to retract, you could release it and drop to the ground unharmed. You would need precise timing, that's how I felt when the bow of the hand rail reached it's limit, however, I missed the opportunity and was flung back toward the wall from whence I had started. The good news was I was headed upward, the bad news was I hit my head with such force it put another hole in the drywall. I understand that when you're unconscious you sometimes do better in a fall. I was on the basement floor when I woke up not too bad for wear. I know science has told us we only use 10 % of our brains. I'm starting to think mine uses about two and a half. As I was laying on the floor, 96% of my brain should have been saying, "Eddie boy, it's time to call it a night." Instead the other 2 and 1/2 was saying. "Hey, Eddie boy, I think we got time to finish installing the bathroom sink.
Next thing I know, I'm lying on my back trying to wedge myself through the opening under the sink. E=mc2, that's the one. My feet and legs were providing the energy, my shoulders were the mass, but, I'm telling you there wasn't any speed. Not until that middle support between the doors broke. Then there was speed, I shot into that opening fast, the only thing that slowed me down was my head hitting the drywall again. That's when I saw it, the light at the end of the tunnel, I know some people say don't go toward the light, but, I was just going to take a quick peek. That's when I took the blow to my eye. Turns out, the light was coming from the upper end of the drain pipe. I thought the tunnel looked a tad tight but in my defense I didn't think the body came with. I could be a freak in a circus show. HALF MAN HALF RACOON. Instead I'm just another guy with a black eye. Anyway, I have to go I've got a couple holes in drywall to fix.
Have a great day
Loved
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
100 entries
I've decided to publish a new post to lessen the need to scroll so much. Besides, there's been an incident.
I was, standing in the Garden of Eden. No, wait, I was kneeling in the Garden of Eden. Now, don't get me wrong, I have no delusion of ending up in the Garden of Eden and I have no intention of misleading you. Yet, there I was, kneeling in the Garden of Eden when it happened. Let me explain, this was not the Garden of Eden you're all thinking about. This little Garden of Eden is nestled, well, nestled might be the wrong word, let's say it's, ahhh?...Oh yeah, standing stark naked in the middle of the bald prairie. There's no apple tree here, actually, there aren't any trees. The up side of that is no leaves to rake in the fall, down side is digging your suv out of 14 foot snow drifts in the winter, pressure washing a foot of dust off in the spring, and repairing hail damage throughout the summer. They have protected themselves by building lower than the grade of the grid that runs by, just low enough that, if you're out for a walk, those Saskatchewan breezes that range anywhere from 10 to 140 kph, can whip the loose gravel off the grid at right about eye level. Now, I don't know about you but I'm thinking somebody misunderstands the meaning of the name.
Anyway, there I was, kneeling, in a kitchen, in a house, which was located, you guessed it... in the Garden of Eden. Some one had installed hardwood in the kitchen and had done a nice job of it, but, it was the wrong color. I know it's seldom unheard of in the Garden of Eden, but these people were unhappy. We were there to replace it, which requires the removal first. That's when it happened, I was prying a board off the floor when it released and shot up at my face, with the speed of the reflexes of a cat I spun my face around and backward at the same time, unfortunately for me the board was way faster than the reflexes of a cat. Imagine my delight when I came to and they told me I was in the Garden of Eden, imagine my dismay when they told me it was this Garden of Eden.
It has been some time since I left the Garden of Eden, and I'm sorry, I don't miss it and I'm not going back.
Have a great day
Loved
I was, standing in the Garden of Eden. No, wait, I was kneeling in the Garden of Eden. Now, don't get me wrong, I have no delusion of ending up in the Garden of Eden and I have no intention of misleading you. Yet, there I was, kneeling in the Garden of Eden when it happened. Let me explain, this was not the Garden of Eden you're all thinking about. This little Garden of Eden is nestled, well, nestled might be the wrong word, let's say it's, ahhh?...Oh yeah, standing stark naked in the middle of the bald prairie. There's no apple tree here, actually, there aren't any trees. The up side of that is no leaves to rake in the fall, down side is digging your suv out of 14 foot snow drifts in the winter, pressure washing a foot of dust off in the spring, and repairing hail damage throughout the summer. They have protected themselves by building lower than the grade of the grid that runs by, just low enough that, if you're out for a walk, those Saskatchewan breezes that range anywhere from 10 to 140 kph, can whip the loose gravel off the grid at right about eye level. Now, I don't know about you but I'm thinking somebody misunderstands the meaning of the name.
Anyway, there I was, kneeling, in a kitchen, in a house, which was located, you guessed it... in the Garden of Eden. Some one had installed hardwood in the kitchen and had done a nice job of it, but, it was the wrong color. I know it's seldom unheard of in the Garden of Eden, but these people were unhappy. We were there to replace it, which requires the removal first. That's when it happened, I was prying a board off the floor when it released and shot up at my face, with the speed of the reflexes of a cat I spun my face around and backward at the same time, unfortunately for me the board was way faster than the reflexes of a cat. Imagine my delight when I came to and they told me I was in the Garden of Eden, imagine my dismay when they told me it was this Garden of Eden.
It has been some time since I left the Garden of Eden, and I'm sorry, I don't miss it and I'm not going back.
Have a great day
Loved
Monday, March 31, 2014
April 1, 2014
I picked up a terrible sliver at work the other day, it was as bad as I had ever had. A piece of lumber this size would cost a buck and a half at Home Depot. My boss wanted it to cook hotdogs at the lake. I'm taking it home to replace a missing fence post. I couldn't find a pair of pliers, so I had to dig it out with a razor knife, it was in my right hand,so I had to do the surgery with my non-dominant left, by the time I was finished,I needed eighteen stitches. It would have only been 14 but the doc had to dig deeper to get a branch I had missed.
That's not why I'm writing today though. It's Obi again. I went out for a walk the other night to burn off a few calories, you know, just to make his creeping up on me a little more difficult. Obi tried to blame it on the ice, but I'm convinced it was him who kicked my feet out from under me in an attempt to immobilize me for who knows how long. I was going down hard. My right hand said,"Don't even think about using me to break the fall, your brilliant surgical attempt has left me a tad disabled." My left had already shot upward and outward like he was waving at a crowd. My knees screamed, "Don't use us, Ed needs us when he kneels to pray." My hip asked, "Yah. When does Ed ever kneel to pray?" My back replied, "I think they're right, he was kneeling when he got that sliver the other day and I definitely heard him call out to his Savior." My right shoulder said, "I'm not sure that was praying, and, by the way, I'm not available either." That's when my brain piped in, "Ok you idiots, do what I say." "Right elbow, slam yourself backward and try touching Ed's left hip. Left foot, try to touch your ankle bone to Ed's chin. Chin, when you see that ankle bone coming lift up quickly and throw yourself to the right. Right knee follow the path of Ed's chin, and left foot plant yourself firmly and push like hell.".....Ed was on his feet, a gold medal performance. Had there been a crowd it would have been cheering in a standing O, the judges would hold 10's across the board, well two of them probably would hold 7's, but still, silver's great.
Actually, there was one old guy shovelling his walk, he had witnessed the recovery with his mouth agape. He gave me a toothless smile and a thumbs up,would have been two thumbs but his other hand had caught the teeth that had fallen from his mouth. The skull said,"Thank you" to the brain. "Don't mention it, we we're in that together."
I had a talk with Obi. He's just tired of creeping and wants to leap and bound. I'm going to have to be a little more vigilant.
Have a great day
Loved
That's not why I'm writing today though. It's Obi again. I went out for a walk the other night to burn off a few calories, you know, just to make his creeping up on me a little more difficult. Obi tried to blame it on the ice, but I'm convinced it was him who kicked my feet out from under me in an attempt to immobilize me for who knows how long. I was going down hard. My right hand said,"Don't even think about using me to break the fall, your brilliant surgical attempt has left me a tad disabled." My left had already shot upward and outward like he was waving at a crowd. My knees screamed, "Don't use us, Ed needs us when he kneels to pray." My hip asked, "Yah. When does Ed ever kneel to pray?" My back replied, "I think they're right, he was kneeling when he got that sliver the other day and I definitely heard him call out to his Savior." My right shoulder said, "I'm not sure that was praying, and, by the way, I'm not available either." That's when my brain piped in, "Ok you idiots, do what I say." "Right elbow, slam yourself backward and try touching Ed's left hip. Left foot, try to touch your ankle bone to Ed's chin. Chin, when you see that ankle bone coming lift up quickly and throw yourself to the right. Right knee follow the path of Ed's chin, and left foot plant yourself firmly and push like hell.".....Ed was on his feet, a gold medal performance. Had there been a crowd it would have been cheering in a standing O, the judges would hold 10's across the board, well two of them probably would hold 7's, but still, silver's great.
Actually, there was one old guy shovelling his walk, he had witnessed the recovery with his mouth agape. He gave me a toothless smile and a thumbs up,would have been two thumbs but his other hand had caught the teeth that had fallen from his mouth. The skull said,"Thank you" to the brain. "Don't mention it, we we're in that together."
I had a talk with Obi. He's just tired of creeping and wants to leap and bound. I'm going to have to be a little more vigilant.
Have a great day
Loved
Saturday, March 1, 2014
March 1 2014
Obesity. Yep, he's been creeping up on me. I call him Obi for short. He was with me the other day at the grocery store, I caught him dropping two 2-litre bottles of Pepsi into the cart. I give him a look "What the...?" "Buy one get one free," he says. The problem with two litre bottles is, they start to go flat as soon as you open them. I can probably do a litre for breakfast, you know, that caffeine buzz, not to mention the sugar high you plummet from around 11a.m. It's that second litre, it should be drank the same day so you're looking at an evening snack. Obi has the answer of course, he's thrown 6, that's one half dozen, bags of potato chips into the cart. I sort of blurted out "Jesus Christ Obi". That's when the old lady hit me with her purse, it was heavy too, the arm she carried it with was 3 inches longer than the other. The stitching was leaving scratches where she dragged it across the terrazzo floor. I look again at the bags of chips...FORMAT FAMILIAL, I think that's DIMENSIONE DELLA FAMIGLIA to Lucy and her friends, to me it's FAMILY SIZE. Big bags in any language, although, lets face it, family size is relative, no pen intunded, pour a bag of these into a bowl and an average family will eat it in 20 maybe 30 minutes. Open a bag for Luigi and Mary's family and they won't even get to the bowl, they'll be gone in maybe 8 or 9 seconds, 6 if we have to share with the girls. Ohh! I think I heard a bag open, catch ya later.
Have a great day
Loved
Have a great day
Loved
Saturday, February 1, 2014
February 1, 2014
You know how they say that when you fall off a roof while holding a sheet of plywood, you can use it to float to the ground safely. It's not true. If it hadn't been for the plywood catching a few branches on the way down, I wouldn't have slowed down at all. Unfortunately it turned me upside down so I was unable to land on my feet. I had a choice of landing on my face or forehead, my face has to cradle my glasses so I chose my forehead. I was landing in snow so I was hoping for a soft landing, the bad news was it was packed as hard as ice, the good news was I didn't have to run for ice to keep the swelling down, I just left my head in the snow. Having grown up in the Antonini family the sight of the blood didn't bother me at all but after having lost about a pint I figured I better go inside and clean it up. I tried to sneak past Deanie, she had warned me about being on the roof, I didn't want to get an "I told you so", she didn't. She just said, "Get out of my kitchen, you're dripping blood on the floor".
Have a great day
Loved
Have a great day
Loved
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
HAPPY NEW YEAR
I don't know about the rest of you, but my brain drops the ball in a lot of circumstances. I usually check the weather soon after I awake so as to dress properly for the day, long sleeve?, short sleeve?, heavy coat?, light coat?, etc. The other day I wake, FREEZING RAIN, screams out from the media. My brain immediately registers and tells me, "Eddie boy, be very careful out there." It is the main focus of my thoughts for the entire time I'm getting ready to leave the house. Then I step out the door and it's like, "Hmmm, I wonder what's for lunch today?. Now I do have to admit, it does snap back into focus the moment my feet hit the driveway, although, a bit too late. Every driveway is sloped, mine is no exception. Granted, it's not a Nancy Green or Jean Claude Killy slope, but, not having the talent of Nancy or Jean Claude I'm doing all I can to stay upright as I begin my descent. I'm doing pretty good as I gain speed. Let me tell you about Regina's soil. It's gumbo, it expands and shrinks at will. That's why my driveway has lifted and is at a completely different level than the city sidewalk, so I`m coming up to a ski jump soon. Granted it's not an Eddie The Eagle jump, but not having the talent of Mr. Edwards, I need every ounce of my own talent to land safely... and I stick it. Let me tell you about Regina's maintenance crews. When they grade the street they leave mountains of snow along the edge of the sidewalks. Granted they aren't the Rocky Mountains, but, they may as well be. My feet stopped dead, however, my upper body continued it`s forward motion, I wasn`t worried about traffic, being from Regina they knew the outcome and had already stopped to watch. So, when my body hit the icy roadway I did my best imitation of a curling stone and shot right across. Let me tell you about my neighbor across the street, he has this fancy snow blower, so the mountains that should have stopped me, were cleared and I continued right up his driveway until I hit his garage door. At least I had stopped. I got to my feet, my brain was thinking...How long til lunch. Oh, oh.
Have a great New Year`s day
Loved
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