June 1, 2014

There are not many days of the year that I'll miss taking a walk around Wascana Lake. The other day was one I wish I had.
I was walking along the north shore on a concrete wall which protects against erosion, it's on the same level as the path, I use it to give the joggers  and runners a little more room to breeze by. It was on a blind corner that it happened, some kamikaze bike rider came around and gave me the choice to sidestep or drastically impede his progress with my privates. With those same reflexes of a cat that I should be famous for by now, I jumped to the side. You guessed it. The wrong side. I was in the lake. I panicked, I had about 17 seconds of air in my lungs and my arms and legs were moving so fast it was spent in about 12. Now I had a decision to make, take the chance of getting a mouth full of Wascana Lake water or watching my life pass before my eyes........the first thing I saw was a hockey Night In Canada game, back then the broadcast started halfway through the second period and it was pretty much impossible to follow the puck, the only way you knew someone had scored was when the players raised their sticks in jubilation. Now, there's half hour of pregame banter, the game itself, and another half hour of postgame analysis. It's still pretty much impossible to follow the puck and the only way you know someone scored is when the players raise their sticks in jubilation. The next thing I saw was Bonanza, the TV show, a western about a rancher and his three sons except you ever only saw two because the third was always off on some cattle drive. I'm thinking, "come on God give me a break." Next, I'm with a bunch of people by the castle at the beach and we're watching this little kid walking up the hill with a fishing pole, the only fish he's caught is himself, the hook is stuck in his calf muscle, I'm joining the others in side splitting laughter until I realize the little guy is me. "Jesus Christ, throw me a bone here." That's when I remembered Don Wahlberg, after marrying one of the Antonini girls, telling Tony that he wasn't worried about being thrown into Wascana with cement boots because he would just stand up and he would only be knee deep. So I stood up, it was just above my knee. Don's a bit taller than me.

Have a great day

Loved