June 7 2016

I've been cleaning out my garage. My half ton was absolutely full of garbage, there wasn't room for anything else, it was time for a run to the dump. I decided I would pick up a slurpee on the way home, being eco-friendly I decided to take my own cup to refill, besides I save 75 cents if I take my own cup. I threw my cup into the cab, then I got the great idea of being even more eco-friendly by taking my own straw as well. How was I to know that when  they say, "The straw that broke to camels back", they are talking about a slurpee straw. I threw it into the cab and the moment it hit the seat the brakes on the truck gave way and it started rolling down the driveway. I grabbed the side mirror and dug my feet in, unfortunately they don't dig into concrete and I was just dragged along. I could do nothing, it gained speed out onto the street and headed for the parked car on the other side. It hit the car, which, happened to be a Saturn, you know, the ones with the springy doors. There was no damage but the spring propelled the truck back across the street and up the driveway again. Of course there was a sudden change in direction and now instead of skiing downhill along side the truck I was being dragged back up the drive way. I saw the snow shovel beside the drive so I figured I could dive for it and throw it under the wheel, I figured right, I threw the shovel under the wheel just as planned. It was like a locomotive running over a nickel on the track, I now had a snow scraper instead of a shovel, and, it didn't even slow the truck down, I could have sworn it picked up speed. Actually I think I did swear when it hit the garage door and shattered it into thousands of little pieces like the way a windshield shatters, which was really weird, because it was a steel door. Then to make things worse it ran into the back of our car and pushed it out through the front wall of the garage just like it was going through one of those rice paper walls you see in all the Kung-Fu movies. The car rolled out through Deanie`s flower garden and out onto the swimming pool, which luckily was frozen. Now I figured if I carefully walked out onto the ice I could drive it off before it broke through. I was a little nervous, I can`t swim that well, I tried taking lessons once but they ended with the instructor stating, ``Some bodies are more buoyant than others``. Now as soon as I stepped on the ice it broke and under I went with the car coming down on me, only one thing I could do...I woke up.

Have a great day
Loved