Rome wasn't built in a day. That doesn't stop todays contractors from trying. Haste makes waste and often, accidents. I was preparing a subfloor for tile when it happened, I was using my favorite finishing trowel, one I can say I have troweled 10s of thousands of feet with. It has been worn and honed to a fine edge, an edge a Samurai would be honored to have on his sword. I had the overhead lights off and a flood shining across the floor, it helps to eliminate trowel marks. Some numpty kicked the cord, putting out the flood, causing me to lose my balance, just as I was swiping across the floor. I knew something odd had happened. When the overheads were turned on I saw some lumps on the floor. It took but a few seconds to realise they were my fingers. Shock, sometimes is a good thing, it protects you from panic, the first thing I thought was,"I'm pretty sure I'm going to need those". You have to understand, the cuts were precision, scalpel grade, a world class surgeon would be envious. Not only that, I had taken Betty Jo's advice and had bought myself some flesh colored duct tape, this surgery was going to be a breeze. I was fast too, within minutes they were in place, neatly cleaned and taped. You know those jig saw puzzles? The good ones, the pieces fit great, they're challenging, and every once in a while a piece will fit perfect and even looks like it's right but it actually isn't. Well, I taped my forefinger to my pinkie stub and my pinkie to my forefinger stub. Now listen, there were a lot of things I wanted to be when I was a little boy, the strongest man alive, the fastest man alive, the man with the nicest hair (ok, that dream died early) the greatest golfer, the best swimmer ( I might just be the best dog paddler), Roy Rogers, Davy Crockett, the fastest draw, Spiderman, Batman, Superman, dad. Never, in all my dreaming did I ever dream of being a circus freak. I had to change my fingers back. The resurgery went well and when the doctors examed it at the hospital they stated they couldn't have done better. They wanted to know where I learned the skill, "On the job". I said. "I've done dozens of successful surgeries". I didn't tell them they were all on me. I asked if I could play the guitar, they said "Sure". So I'm out shopping for a Stratocaster. I'm excited, I've never played a guitar.
Have a great day
Loved
29 comments:
👉I'm not pointing any fingers, Ed, but this story has the same effect on me as the sound of scraping nails on a blackboard - all five of them, all in the right place👋!
Still I found myself laughing at so many of your side comments, tucked into the text to create comic relief.😂 And the punch line is so funny that it becomes the whole point of your tragic tale.🎸🎶
You've done it again, brother.👍 You've led us laughing all the way into another blog month.👌
🍻Cheers, Louise and David
Dear Loved,
This is your best misadventure yet. Also the best punch line ever! Thank you for all the entertainment you have provided over your years of self-destruction.
Ditto to everything Lucy said; I wish I had written her clever response. Keep on destructing.
Love, BJ
P.S. Christine advised me to try meditation after reading your September post.(I think she meant about the finger thing). LOL
Well yes. I don't know why I'm ok with broken bones, stitches in other places, slipping on ice, falling from high places, almost drowning etc. and laugh my head off every time and then cringe with cutting off fingers. That (and fish hooks) seem to be the only things that get to me. Actually, Louise's description is pretty close and I did get over it and laugh my head off again. Your stories are one of the reasons I look forward to the beginning of a new month. Keep 'em coming.
Love, (-:hristine
**29**29**29**29**29**29**29**29**29**29**29**29**
🎎HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BONNIE AND ROBERT!💑
Congratulations!🎆 Our greetings are coming to you from Calgary where we are finishing off Melissa and Alan's weekend wedding celebrations.💍 The Monday holiday is a bonus of extra time before life gets back to normal for all of us.🏃
🎉We hope your anniversary celebration is also a relaxing break for you at the beginning of another work-week. By the time you have been married for 29 years, you just appreciate being able to share another special day with your life-long partner and best friend.💑
Enjoy whatever celebration you have planned for this 29th anniversary.🍷🍴🎁 Here's to really great year on your way to the big three-O.🎢 And may the count continue for many more healthy, happy years. 🍻Cheers!
💌Lots of love,
Louise and David
**29**29**29**29**29**29**29**29**29**29**29**29**
**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**
🎂🎈🎁HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NORAH!
👸S IX is a happy age for you, today.
🎂I t means that an
🎒X-citing school year lies ahead.
🎈📷🎁Have fun with friends and family, Norah!
💌Lots of love,
Louise and David
**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**6**
**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**
🎂👸HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KARISA!
🎆So, today you celebrate becoming a teenager.
Congratulations!👍
🎁T his is a
🎂H appy day for your
🎈I ntroduction to a
🍰R eally special
👸T ime in life. As you
🏫E nter the teen years,
🎀E njoy being the family's
😚N ewest 13-year-old.
💌Warm wishes and lots of love,
Louise and David
**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**
Hi! I need some help with Margaret's latest quiz. It is in aid of Alzheimer Scotland and the answers have to be in by September 15. We have to identify the country from the clue.
1. Absolutely ravenous
2. Only 20.6 miles away
3. As a relation, he's a Womble
4. Don't cry for me.
5. Have a nice day y'all
6. Find the worm at the bottom of the bottle
7. Bruce and Sheila invite you over for a Barbie
8. Go fishing on the Mackenzie
9. Wear your hat when sailing the canal
10.Porcelain
11.Did she want to go or...
12.Knotted together
13.Gooe place to eat at Christmas
14.Order your freshly made pizza here
15.Go climb Kilimanjaro
16.Enjoy a beer in October
17.Bring me back some flowers and shoes
18.Souhds like there are no overweight people here
19.Do the sand dance here
20.Roussos or Mouskouri
21.I met the dancing queens at the furniture store
22.I yen to go there
23.As much use as a chocolate watch
24.With love from James Bond
Thanks!
PS: The first word in clue #13 is "Good"
Hi Lucy,
You probably have these already, but here goes:
1. HUNGARY
4. ARGENTINA
5. GEORGIA
6. MEXICO
7. AUSTRALIA
8. CANADA
9. PANAMA
10. CHINA
12. UNITED STATES
13. TURKEY
14. ITALY
15. TANZANIA
16. GERMANY
17. THE NETHERLANDS
19. NEW ZEALAND
20. GREECE
21. SWEDEN
22. JAPAN
23. SWITZERLAND
24. RUSSIA
2 more:
3. BULGARIA
11. TOGO
Believe it or not, I had 3 answers before you pitched in, BJ. You are amazing!
These 2 are a real reach, but I cannot think of anything else.
2. BERMUDA (the total area of Bermuda is 20.6 miles)
18. GUINEA (sounds like skinny)
Thanks, BJ. I'll let you know how we do in the draw. Some of the clues are not at all helpful to me. Your guess on those last two at least give us answers to submit. Cheers!
Lucy
**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**
🎂HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEPHEN!🎂
🎆Congratulations! Today you reach the half-century mark. Fifty years make this a GOLDEN occasion.🏆 We hope your birthday celebration glitters and shines exactly the way it should for you.🎂
Here in St. Andrews, we will pour ourselves a wee glass of liquid gold in the form of a fine single-malt scotch.🍻 Then we'll drink a sparkling toast to you on this very special birthday.🎉 Here's to so many wonderful years gone by and to even more amazing times yet to come.📅 Cheers!
💌Lots of love,
Louise and David
**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**
**30**30**30**30**30**30**30**30**30**30**30**30**
🎁🎈HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JENALEE!🎀🎂
Congratulations and best wishes as you celebrate your 30th birthday today.🎆 You will have to go a long way to repeat the happiness of this past year🎎 and, for that matter, the fullness of the entire decade spent in your 20's💑👼🏃✈🏫👪.
Still, we hope today is extra-special for you, Terrence and Dominick.🎂 May your joy spill over into the days, weeks, months and years that lie ahead of you.🎢 Cheers!🍻
💌Lots of love,
Louise and David
**30**30**30**30**30**30**30**30**30**30**30**30**
**32**32**32**32**32**32**32**32**32**32**32**32**32**
🎂🎁HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRYEN!
Greetings from us in Scotland where your birthday has started with a round of golf in Carnoustie⛳;(as if the day weren't already special enough, eh?🎆) Congratulations on turning 32 today🎂!
👪We join family and friends in wishing you a very good birthday from beginning to end, (and many happy returns, too)🎂🎂🎂. When the guys come in off the links, we'll raise a celebratory toast in honour of you. 🍻Cheers!
💌Lots of love,
Louise and David
**32**32**32**32**32**32**32**32**32**32**32**32**32**
**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**
🎂🎈HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LORRAINE!🎈🎂
Well, this is a special birthday for you, for sure.🍷🍷 A Friday celebration means that you can turn it into a weekend of fun with friends and family.🎆 We hope that's the case for you at 50.🎁 Congratulations!
🍻Here in St. Andrews we will make a point of choosing a fine single-malt scotch for a toast to your health and happiness. In fact, we'll make it a double to mark this half-century milestone in your life.✌ Cheers!🍻
💌Warm wishes and lots of love,
Louise and David
**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**50**
**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**
🎂👸HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HANNAH-LYNN!🎁🎂
Congratulations!📢 Today, THIRTEEN is your lucky number.🎲 You make it beautiful, too.👸
❤T ake care to
🎆H ave a terrific Tuesday since
🎁I t is your
🎂R eally extra-special
🙆T hirteenth birthday.
🏬E veryone wants you to
🎈E xperience one of the
💐N icest birthdays ever.
💌Warm wishes and lots of love,
Louise and David
**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**13**
**74**74**74**74**74**74**74**74**74**74**74**74**74**
🍻🎂HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DON!
🍶We are already eyeing the 12-year-old Highland Park that will help us celebrate with you across the miles that lie between the Kingdom of Fife and the Province of Saskatchewan.✈ Nothing can bridge the distance as well as a warm toast with a wee dram.🍻 Slainte!
We hope your Wednesday birthday has dawned as brightly in Saskatoon as it has over the links here in St. Andrews.🌅 This looks like a good day for golf.⛳ However you plan to spend this 74th birthday, we hope today's celebration is exactly to your taste.🎂🎁 Many happy returns!🎆
💌Lots of love,
Louise and David
**74**74**74**74**74**74**74**74**74**74**74**74**74**
**23**23**23**23**23**23**23**23**23**23**23**23**
🎂🎁HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOGAN!🎁🎂
You will probably have to spend a full day at work before you can "put the icing on the cake"🎂 and celebrate your twenty-third birthday🎆. That's usually what happens when a special celebration comes mid-week.📅 Go ahead and make the best of it, anyway.🏂
Here in St. Andrews, we'll be pairing your birthday toast with the one we will raise to your Grandpa Don.🍻 Have a really great day, Logan. We wish you good health, long life and personal success.✌ Cheers!
💌Lots of love,
Louise and David
**23**23**23**23**23**23**23**23**23**23**23**23**
**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**
🎎HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, ABBY AND JOSHUA!💑
Congratulations!🎆 This anniversary marks a dozen happy years of marriage for the two of you.🎎 Enjoy this special milestone.🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣
Here in St. Andrews, I'll be celebrating this day on my own.👵 However, when Dave returns from golfing in Milan, he and I will raise a toast in your honor.🍻 In the meantime, warm wishes from me today. May you go on to celebrate a few dozen more years together, one happy day at a time.📅 Cheers!
💌Lots of love,
Louise and David
**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**
**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**
💑HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, JAMIE AND CHRIS!🎎
Congratulations!🎆 Your Saturday anniversary is already half over here in Scotland.🕛 You are in my thoughts as you begin this special day in your Ontario home, five time zones away.🕖
You will probably make this a weekend of family time with Tessa on hand to share in the celebrations.👪 Since I'm on my own right now, Dave and I will be a few days late in raising one of our traditional toasts to your health and happiness.🍻 We hope the first twelve years of your marriage hold the promise of many more happy times together.😍 Cheers!
💌Warm wishes and lots of love,
Louise and David
**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**12**
**42**42**42**42**42**42**42**42**42**42**42**42**42**
🎈🎂HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PENNY!🎁🎆
Here's to you at forty-two!🍻
Our celebratory toast will have to wait until Dave gets back tomorrow.✈ In the meantime, I am smiling at the memories of the often brief but happy times I have had with you, Mike, Logan and Geron over the years.😍
Enjoy your Monday birthday, Penny!🎂 A celebration can be a promising start to a brand new week.📅 We hope that's the case for you. Here in St. Andrews, the festivities will spill over into tomorrow when Dave and I raise our glasses in a toast to your good health and happiness now and in the days, months and years ahead.🍻 Cheers!
💌Lots of love,
Louise and David
**42**42**42**42**42**42**42**42**42**42**42**42**42**
**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**
🎂🎈HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHANNON!🎈🎂
Congratulations and best wishes on this milestone birthday.🎆 According to our Book of Days, this is a RUBY occasion, so go ahead and paint the town red in celebration of your 40 years of life.🎨
We join Andry, Sadie, Carmen and Evan in doing something to make this day special for you.🎂🎁💐📷 Like them, we will find our own delightful way to celebrate your fortieth birthday.🌅 Here in St. Andrews, we will pour ourselves a perfectly-aged scotch, raise our glasses and salute you in a warm toast.🍻 May every year of the decade you are entering be filled with good health, happiness and personal success.💝
💌Cheers and lots of love,
Louise and David
**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**
**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**
🎂🎁HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAMES!🎂🎁
"Lordy, lordy, look who's forty!"🎆 Congratulations on this special birthday. If you think the first 40 years have been good ones, you are in for even more of life's surprises in the exciting decade that you enter today.🎂 Knowing you, we're confident that you'll make the best of every precious moment.🎢
Here in St. Andrews, we are thinking of you, Christine, Presley and Corson as you mark this milestone birthday together.🎈🎂🎁👨👩👧👦 We hope the celebrations spill over into a weekend of fun with family and friends. We'll drink to that!🍻 Cheers!
💌Warm wishes and lots of love,
Louise and David
**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**40**
**49**49**49**49**49**49**49**49**49**49**49**49**49**
💍🎎HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MARY ELLEN AND BOB!💍💑
Wow, have you two ever come a long way together!💑 Congratulations as you begin the countdown to 50!✊ When it comes to anniversaries, this forty-ninth milestone always points to gold just around the next corner.🚶 Take it easy, though; there is no need to rush. Continue to enjoy the ride, one day at a time.🎢
Here in St. Andrews, your anniversary day has dawned bright and sunny.🌅 It's the kind of day that makes us think that the month of September might be one of the prettiest times for getting married.🎑 May the sights and sounds of fall remind you of your own wedding 49 years ago💒 and may the vibrant colours of autumn hint at the beauty that still awaits you.🎊
💌Cheers and lots of love,
Louise and David
**49**49**49**49**49**49**49**49**49**49**49**49**49**
Thanks for the anniversary wishes. You always write such beautiful messages for us.
I love reading the blog!
Love,
ME
xo
You are very welcome, Mary Ellen! I like the blog, too. Don't the months just fly by, though?
Post a Comment