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January 1, New Year's Day. Listen, I'm not in a time loop here, I'm not disputing it's the first day of February. That's why I'm posting this. What I am saying is, January first is the date of my first accident of the year. Let me set this up. I'm laying claim to the fact it wasn't my fault. Ok. This is how it went down. A few days before Christmas I happened to be cracking nuts with my teeth simply because I find the little soldier nut cracker we have a little creepy, I won't use it. Of course that's to my detriment. I broke a molar. Now, that's not the accident, well, I guess it is an accident, but it's not THE accident that happened on New Years day. Stay with me. So I have this broken tooth and it's destroying my tongue, every time I chew or even drink it is rubbing up against the sharp edge of the tooth. This is really going to throw a wrench into my Christmas feasting. The dentist office is closed until late in the first week of January. I don't know if any of you remember the wax sticks we use to buy when kids, they had a couple drops of flavored liquid in them that was gone as soon as you bit them but you could chew the wax for hours. These things are really hard to find, I was hoping to use the wax to coat my tooth. Now, to my credit it turned out to be a very good idea, they actually make dental wax to coat braces for much the same reason. Don't worry I'm getting to the accident. I was at Christmas eve mass with the kids, and I know, I should have been thinking about our dear savior's birth, but my thought's were more along the lines of "If this choir would just shut up, we could shorten this service by a number of minutes." Eventually it did end, and on leaving the church I ran into my dentist. After trading season greetings I mentioned I'd be coming in to see him in the New Year when they reopened. He stated he would be in his office between Christmas and New Year's and would give me a call. Everything I have written so far is important because the dentist didn't call me between said dates, he called me on New Year's day. Hah. See it fits. That call set in motion the event. It was a very cold day, 20 some below with one of those Saskatchewan breezes that drives the wind chill beyond the minus 40 mark. When I worked with epoxies back in the day, I was talking to a chemist about the freeze thaw properties of some of the materials we used. He explained that many products can be frozen and then thawed and retain their uses. One thing I'll always remember him saying though, is,  "When the temperatures get to the minus 40's and such, all bets are off". So that brings me to the next point. I pressed the remote to open the garage door and quickly headed out to get the car, I was bundled up pretty good and had my tuque pulled down to my eyebrows. A person's head is said to weigh about 10 pounds. My body is somewhere around 18 times that. My body had a pretty good velocity of motion when it entered the garage. Now, like liquids, machinery also has problems with extreme cold and because I had my head down to protect my eyes from the ice crystals whipping around by the wind, I did not notice my garage door had quit working right around the time it reached eye level. My head, being only 10 pounds had no choice but to follow my body into the garage, however it had to contort to the garage door's ill will. How will I explain this to the dentist, I have a bloody scrape from my eye brow to the middle of my scalp ( hairless, in my case).  I suppose it could make a good road rage story, but I could never understand the arrogance of thinking your driving is so perfect as to not offend at least one of the other numpties on the road. I could tell him, "You should see the other guy" but it turns out there's not even a scratch on the garage door. "What can I say Doc, I ran into a door". First day of the year, damn.

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