Feb 1, 2019

EPISODE 11

Don't you just hate it when...

You wake up in the morning, it's an exciting day. If you can make it through the day it will be 30 days without an accident, breaking your record of 29. Now, instead of feeling sheepish when saying " I've gone a whole month without an accident," because February is the only month that fits, you can add September, April, June and November. Of course, you're aware that you have to wash the windows inside and out today and the ladder incident of last year is still fresh in your mind, but, that's a whole other story. You're ready today, you bought two extension poles, one with a scrub brush and the other a squeegee. There will be no ladder today, both feet will be planted on solid ground.
You jump out of bed, grab a pair of socks and lift your foot to clothe it. You look at your foot back on the floor, sans sock. It looks back up at you, " Hey, I was just following the knee". "Don't put it on me ," the knee says," I haven't been that high in years, the chest would have to come down to meet me." " I'm all in," says the chest, " let's do this." Up comes the knee, the foot follows, chest dips to meet them, hands firmly hold the sock ready for entry. Somebody really should have said something to the ankle, he didn't do his part. Only the big toe caught the sock and the hands aren't letting go, I'm hopping on one foot across the room trying to regain my balance, it's not working, I'm heading for Deanie's chest of drawers. This is a monster of a piece of furniture, built to last, loaded with clothes and as immovable as a brick wall. To make matters worse, there's another identical right beside it. If I hit these things the outcome will not be in my favor. I veer to the right. Wham! Right into the laundry hamper, it's made of wicker. It explodes. Deanie lifts her head off the bed, night brain tells her there's a wicker quilled porcupine on the floor before she realizes it's just me, she goes back to sleep. I spend the next twenty minutes picking quills out of my side, it looks like I have chicken pox, only just on one side of my body. Tomorrow...day 1


Loved