Passion

It's a real gift to have a passion for something, unfortunately for me my passion is for a garden hose. I hate it with a passion. Deanie purchased the hose a few years ago, I didn't like it right from the get go. I went out to put it on yesterday and things went bad. First of all it's quite heavy and fairly long, it coils like a snake, a big snake, you know like one of those boa constrictors. So I'm struggling to fasten it to the spigot and the damn thing coils around my ankles and trips me up. I'm laying on my back on the patio fighting with this thing and it starts to wrap around my neck. I'll admit I got a bit carried away, I guess the neighbors heard a number of cuss words and something about cutting her up and burying her in the back yard. Next thing I know Regina's own Swat team pounds through my gate.
"Sir! Sir! What's the problem here?" Really polite to call me sir.
"Shoot this damn thing, will you!" I yell out.
They remain calm. "This situation doesn't justify the discharge of a firearm, sir. "
"How about dropping one of those guns and I'll shoot it myself."
"Yeah, that's not going to happen either ,sir."
Right about then is when Deanie comes out.
"What the hell is going on?" Oops, I've heard that tone before.
"Does this guy belong to you, ma'am?"
"Yeah, no wait, maybe, what's he done?"
"Well, the neighbors called, what we've figured is he was threatening the hose and they thought it was a couples dispute?"
"Oh, there's going to be a couple's dispute alright but you guys are good to go."
"Have a good day ma'am."

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