February 2013

I hate cutting grass. I used to say I'd rather shovel snow off the driveway 5 times a week rather than cut grass once a week. That was during the winters I had to shovel it maybe a dozen times throughout the winter. This winter , now that I've been shovelling 5 times a week, and am running out of places to put it so I'm heaving it over 6 foot high banks, I'm changing my mind. I'd rather cut the grass. I'm actually looking forward to it, really, and I'm hoping it happens real soon.

Have a great day

Loved

January 1 , 2013

Happy New Year
I didn't quite make it through Dec without a mishap. I finished work in November and decided I wasn't the man my boss needed for that job, so I will no longer be driving a gravel truck from April to November. I am unable to retire so I've managed to latch onto two jobs to help make the ends meet. It was during my second job when the mishap occured. On December 3rd, two days after visiting Las Vegas (the luck I had down there should have been a clue), I was tiling a house and was carrying a bucket of cut tiles down stairs when I lost my footing at the bottom of the stairs. The brain is an amazing thing, in the micro second during the fall, my brain, being good at geometry, calculated the exact angle my foot needed to be at to land squarely on the floor thus preventing a sprained or broken ankle. Unfortunately, during that calculating it neglected to tell my arm about the unfinished newel post it was about to collide with. You guessed it, big gash from wrist to forearm, and, the house is out of town so no emergency room visit available. Not to worry, I have some clean rags for grouting and a roll of duct tape, hey, and not that dollar store tape or Canadian Tire red tag special, this is the good stuff. I have a couple marble clamps with me so they can close up the gash while I wind some tape around it. Voila! As good as a gashed arm in duct tape. I took the rest of the day off and drove myself home before my brain got over the shock and realised I was in pain. Once home, the demerol tricked it into thinking I still wasn't in pain.
Now, I knew when I duct taped my arm I would have a wee bit of trouble getting it off so was prepared to wait a few days for the adhesive to lose some of it's strength. I managed to scrape it off before midnight mass Christmas Eve, took a little bit of hair with it, that's ok, it matches my head now. The gash had welded itself shut, the arm itself looked a bit aged. If they ever use Regina to shoot an episode of "The Walking Dead" they could use my arm for a zombie arm, no make up required. I wear long sleeves now. Not because of my arm, it's damn cold here, what were you thinking, it's January for heaven's sake.

I was watching a movie the other day and a father told his son to have a great day at school, his mother said that was too much preasure to put on him so his father said...

Have the day you have

Loved

Dec 1

Deanie and I just returned from Las Vegas today. I really can't put into words the experience, we took in a couple of shows, LOVE -Cirque du Soleil and Jersey Boys, both were exciting shows. We walked a total of 47 miles along the strip in the 4 and one half days we were there, had some really great dining experiences. I admired the the amazing  hotel and casino floors and envied the installers who got to work on them. We got a lot of Fun and enjoyable slot play on a limited budget and I kept an 18 cent voucher to cash out on our last morning so the slots didn't completely tap me out, but I ended up donating it to the homeless on our last stroll down the strip. So I have to say Vegas broke me, but, boy, what a great time, and the weather was super. Intense is a good word for it, it is good to be home.

Have a great day.

Loved

November 1

TOOTHACHE!!!!! Arrrrggghhhhhoooowwowo. Here's another strike against evolution, in fact, let's make it three, that's right three strikes you're out. Oh. Wait a minute that leaves it God's doing. Hmmm? Yeah, that'd fit, a way to punish us. i must be guilty of something, some price i forgot to pay, I must of did somebody wrong somewhere along the way. I did my time on the weekend, yeah the weekend. It was Thursday night I thought maybe I had cracked a tooth, it was sore so instead of taking the chance it might get worse over the weekend I thought I'd just yank it, picked up a pry bar from my hardwood tools, jammed it between two teeth and gave it a go. Ya know, they don't come out easy, when my eyeball felt like it was coming with I figured maybe the root's a bit long. So off to the dentist. Squeezed me in Friday morning. "Oh no, let's not pull it, you'll lose chewing surface." He says. I say, "Doc, I'm not using this side, I'll gain the use of these teeth when it's gone". He didn't buy the argument and proceeded with a "Root Canal". "There'll be nothing to feel pain on the weekend". He says. He was real happy with his work and I was on my way. The freezing came out later on in the day ,I monitored the pain throughout the entire night. BECAUSE I COULDN"T SLEEP. I call first thing in the morning and my dentist was gone for the weekend but they  could get me some painkillers. I can pick them up from the drugstore later in the day. So now I have to practice some mind over matter. I'm in a mind to have popcorn and a slurpee at Heather's this afternoon and it doesn't matter that my tooth is painful. On the way home I pick up Tylenol 3's with codeine and an antibiotic and drown some when I get home , they don't work, I monitor the pain for the entire night. Sunday morning I'm unable to make it to mass and think oh boy this isn't good. I actually survive Sunday, Deanie has hidden all the knives and other sharp objects around the house. Then around midnight Sunday she brings me a dose of morphine, I didn't ask where she got it, I didn't really care. Monday morning 3am I drop off, maybe the morphine, maybe pain exhaustion. I'm awake 6:30, the morphine has worn off, at 7:30 the dentist office has been expecting my call. I'm in the chair by 8:20, the dentist stands there with a syringe of freezing in his hand, says he doesn't understand. Stick the needle in my face and then we can discuss it doc." Raise you're hand if you need more freezing" he says. I almost hit him in the jaw when my fist goes up, the morphine, tylenol,advil cocktail Deanie fixed me has slowed me down, he sidesteps. He's found the problem, there's another root. "Yank it" I say. " Oh no" he says "we've done too much work on it" An hour and a half later he's done, he's real happy with his work again. Just in case he says he will give me stronger pain killers, asks me how I feel about demerol. Let me tell you a little something about demerol, I had a colonoscopy a few years back and the doctor comes in to do the procedure, says "Do you need medication?" "I don't know." Is my reply. " Ya, you do" she says. I don't remember the needle reaching my vein. If she had said count done from one hundred she wouldn't have heard the first n. Next thing I know it's 4 hours later and Deanie is driving me home. "Demerol will do Doc" I say. I actually have to sign for them at the pharmacy. So I'm home now and I'm not hesitating taking one of these little gems. I get a really, really, really good sleep. Wake up to birds singing, Deanie can't hear them but I'm pretty sure I can. I know you're probably concerned because Demerol is a narcotic and can be habit forming.  Not to worry, I have 19 more of these little gems to wean me off the first one.

Have a great day

Loved

October 1 2012

Accident free for the entire month of September.

Loved

SEPT.1 2012

 Unloading the loader yesterday the chain binder snapped on me and drove my funny bone into the loader bucket, which is about as immovable as any object not bolted in place, my arm went numb from the elbow to the fingertips. I realized the fingertips still had feeling when, my arm, ricocheting along the deck of the trailer, a fingertip picked up a sliver. The good news is I didn't need a tweezer to get it out. The bad news is it was closer in resemblance to a stake. Left quite a gouge, luckily it's not the finger still healing from the last mishap, it's on the other hand actually. Oh, that funny bone business, there's nothing funny about it.

Have a great day

Loved

August 2012

Ya know, life isn't fair. All of you probably knew that already. I mean, you smash your finger in the tail gate of your gravel truck, you not only have to suffer the pain but you have to endure the humiliation of being dumb enough to have injured yourself that way. Next you have to deal with the frustration of not being able to use the finger properly for the next few weeks while the pain subsides.Then, then, just when you're ready to use it again, you have this nail flopping around, threatening to drop off, except only 93.5 % is ready to fall off, the other 5.5 is settled in to the nail bed like a bad molar in a healthy jaw bone. Now with a rogue nail ready to take out an eye when putting on your glasses or nip your juglar while adjusting your shirt collar you have to deal with it. You cut it back as best you can but you're left with the 5.5% that has that little hook that catches everything in the vicinity, slipping on a t-shirt, it catches the sleeve and you find yourself in a Brazilian Ju-jitsu arm lock, blowing your nose, you're left with a shredded tissue and a palm full of boogers. COME ON!
I know what you're all thinking too. You're saying, oh boy, Edweirdo is so flustered it's messed up his mathematics, his numbers don't add up, but you'd be forgetting the 1% I burned away with that paper clip.

Have a great day

Loved