I walked over to mom and dad's grave site yesterday. It was quite quiet in the yard, the only sound was my boots on the ground. I was trying not to wake anybody. It was hard to find their stone, I had a pretty good idea where it was but they were all covered in snow. I was just about ready to give up when I saw an "INI". I trudged through the snow and cleaned off the rest of the stone to reveal their names and dates and the rosary etched in the granite. The stone really looked good. I thought about leaving a snow angel but by the time you get yourself up afterwards there's not much of an angel left, so I stepped a cross into the snow. I asked them how I was doing and waited for an answer. None came. I guess they weren't home. As I was leaving I imagined them saying...
Have a great day
Loved
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
Monday, January 2, 2017
Happy New Year!!!
That's not a good sign, late on the first posting.
Deanie and I are at an after Christmas, before New Years party. I've forgotten something in the car, I'm not one of those who worries about getting alzheimers, I've forgotten stuff for years, when I was young I used to forget to go to school some days, now that I think of it, that may have just been the excuse I used. It's -25 out and you can see some Christmas wrapping fly by so the wind is in the 30 to 40 km/h range, we're looking at maybe -39 wind chill, exposed skin will freeze in minutes. I only plan on being out for seconds, so I'm not putting on a 30 pound parka, my t-shirt will do. You know when they say, "All brawn and no brains", they had me in mind. Come on people! It's the middle of winter, it's Lumsden, it's Saskatchewan, who leaves their lawn sprinkler out. In defense of my eyesight, it was camouflaged by a light coating of snow. I went down like a ton of bricks, oops, I just thought of dad, I'm going to change that. I went down like close to 200 pounds of bricks. I still have the reflexes of a cat, ok, sure, a 65 year old cat, but, still a cat. My hands are still pretty quick, don't get me wrong they weren't all that fast to begin with. I never had the speed of a Wild Bill or Doc Holliday, Doc would have shot me 6 times before my Colt cleared leather and Hickok would have just used me for target practice. I did get my hands out in front of me though, too bad they ended up on either side of a tree trunk. It was my face that slowed the fall, slowed is the operative word there, according to Sir Isaac's law I was destined to contact the ground. Unlike a cat I prefer to land on my back , so I twisted my body around. Yeah, that only managed to give me a cyclone looking scuff mark on my forehead. My bottom hand hit the tree trunk and now was out of position to stop my fall. It was my elbow that brought my body to rest and drove my shoulder into the side of my head. Now, I could say I've never had a concussion but I think history would prove me a liar, so, when I saw the light at the end of the tunnel this time, I rushed toward it. You know what? It's just a bunch of stars circling around. When I came back there was a feeling of warmth on my left side. When you step in a pile of it, it's bad enough but when you're lying in it, yuck. I had to discard my shirt. So, I'm walking around in a daze, half naked, when the RCMP drive by. The officer is mumbling something about public intoxication. Ok, now I'm doing a sobriety test, the numpty asks me to close my eyes and touch my finger to my nose. I close my eyes, there's those stars again, but my nose is about six times bigger because it was the first of my face to hit the tree trunk, easy pass. He tells me to get inside. Gladly. It's nice to be warm again. Oh! Gotta go, I forgot something in the car.
Have a great day
Loved
Deanie and I are at an after Christmas, before New Years party. I've forgotten something in the car, I'm not one of those who worries about getting alzheimers, I've forgotten stuff for years, when I was young I used to forget to go to school some days, now that I think of it, that may have just been the excuse I used. It's -25 out and you can see some Christmas wrapping fly by so the wind is in the 30 to 40 km/h range, we're looking at maybe -39 wind chill, exposed skin will freeze in minutes. I only plan on being out for seconds, so I'm not putting on a 30 pound parka, my t-shirt will do. You know when they say, "All brawn and no brains", they had me in mind. Come on people! It's the middle of winter, it's Lumsden, it's Saskatchewan, who leaves their lawn sprinkler out. In defense of my eyesight, it was camouflaged by a light coating of snow. I went down like a ton of bricks, oops, I just thought of dad, I'm going to change that. I went down like close to 200 pounds of bricks. I still have the reflexes of a cat, ok, sure, a 65 year old cat, but, still a cat. My hands are still pretty quick, don't get me wrong they weren't all that fast to begin with. I never had the speed of a Wild Bill or Doc Holliday, Doc would have shot me 6 times before my Colt cleared leather and Hickok would have just used me for target practice. I did get my hands out in front of me though, too bad they ended up on either side of a tree trunk. It was my face that slowed the fall, slowed is the operative word there, according to Sir Isaac's law I was destined to contact the ground. Unlike a cat I prefer to land on my back , so I twisted my body around. Yeah, that only managed to give me a cyclone looking scuff mark on my forehead. My bottom hand hit the tree trunk and now was out of position to stop my fall. It was my elbow that brought my body to rest and drove my shoulder into the side of my head. Now, I could say I've never had a concussion but I think history would prove me a liar, so, when I saw the light at the end of the tunnel this time, I rushed toward it. You know what? It's just a bunch of stars circling around. When I came back there was a feeling of warmth on my left side. When you step in a pile of it, it's bad enough but when you're lying in it, yuck. I had to discard my shirt. So, I'm walking around in a daze, half naked, when the RCMP drive by. The officer is mumbling something about public intoxication. Ok, now I'm doing a sobriety test, the numpty asks me to close my eyes and touch my finger to my nose. I close my eyes, there's those stars again, but my nose is about six times bigger because it was the first of my face to hit the tree trunk, easy pass. He tells me to get inside. Gladly. It's nice to be warm again. Oh! Gotta go, I forgot something in the car.
Have a great day
Loved
Thursday, December 1, 2016
December 2016
Why? Why would I do it? How stupid am I to be standing on the ice in the middle of Wascana Lake? I do have to admit I've always been impressd with that guy who walked on water over in the middle east way back when, but , come on, in the middle of winter walking on water in Saskatchewan is no big deal. Although, when the ice broke, it would have big a big deal if I had stayed on the surface. Here I am, I've broken through and slipped under the ice to a point I've lost the entry. It's not as cold as I thought it would be, I mean, my face is really cold but my body, not so much. My guess is the water hasn't soaked through my clothes yet. I could just set my feet on the bottom and push back up through the ice, that is of course, had they not decided on the 'Big Dig' when they drained the lake and deepened it by 4 meters. However, I was floating easily, must be the Goose Down in my jacket, and, there's a small pocket of air between the water and ice so my breathing is simple. I do start to panic and my life is about to flash before my eyes, but you can only read a novel so many times and I'm tired of that one. My face is really becoming numb. Then...I wake up. "Hawlayyoula!" How did you expect it to sound, my lips are frozen. It turns out, Deanie opened the window last night to 'cool down'. It's just unfortunate that the window is on my side of the bed, late night snow flurries have deposited a bank of snow upon me. The little pocket of air that made it easy for me to breathe is my sleep apnea mask. Deanie is still comfortably counting zzzs on her side. My shivering is shaking the bed pretty good, it registers about a 4 point 2 before she mutters for me to stop moving around. Of course, the shivering is uncontrollable so when she turns to punch me she's surprised to find her little fist in a blanket of snow. She notices the snow drifting in from the window. "Oops" is all she says. At least now she can shovel me out. Not quite yet though. She has to find the camera and get a picture, Mia loves snowmen.
Have a great day
Loved
Have a great day
Loved
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
November 2016
I'm walking across town to the emergency room at the general hospital, when
this older fellow notices that I'm carrying a step ladder. He gets up off his porch
and hobbles to his front gate. I'm thinking, he's either put a nail through the ball
of his foot or he broke his ankle when he was young and it never healed
properly, I decide on the later. I know this guy.
Oh. Sorry, you're probably wondering why I'm on my way to the ER. I
unfortunately put a piece of metal through one of my fingers and was unable to
extract it on my own. I know, you're wondering why I need a step ladder there? I
don't, it's the piece of metal that pierced my finger. Why am I walking? That's
easy, I couldn't fit the step ladder into the car.
Anyway, back to this old guy, like I said, I know him. Well, I don't know his
name but I know his type. He's one of those "tough as nails" guys, and I think
this one might even be the hammer that hits those nails. His skin is like rhino
hide, he'll see a doctor once in his lifetime, at his birth. There will be one to
pronounce him dead too, but, because he's dead, technically that's still only
once. I can see he's broken his nose a couple of times, because it goes both
ways. Probably stuck his head in a bucket of ice to keep the swelling down, his
nose is still pressed against his right cheek. He's got a number of scars on his
head. It looks like his left ear has been frozen at least once. I'm sure he's
outdone me on accidents. He pulls out a cigarette, sure, why not blacken the
lungs as well. When he opens his mouth I can see he's only got two teeth, no
dentists in his life, probably pulls his own teeth with a pair of fencing pliers.
Even though one of the teeth is in the top and the other in the bottom, they are
not strategically situated, he wrenches his lower jaw to the left so he can hold
the cigarette between the two teeth so his lips can move while he talks to me.
That explains the orange stain running up the left side of his face to a discolored
eyebrow. He mumbles to me that he can free my finger from the ladder. Of
course, his left hand is missing the pinkie, the ring finger has only one knuckle,
the middle finger stops at the second knuckle, the pointer is intact, sans
fingernail. The right hand is practically a mirror image of the left, except, he's
only got a nubbin for a thumb on the right. It doesn't take me long to deduce his
method of freeing my hand from the ladder. He probably has one of those tree
branch cutters in his shed. Oh, sure, no need to walk to the shed, he has a pair
in his back pocket. I tell him my pain threshold is not high enough but he says
whiskey will take care of that. Did you guess? Yes, he has a bottle in his other
back pocket. I still beg off and graciously thank him for the offer. When I turn to
continue my walk to the ER he calls out to me...
Have a great day
Loved
this older fellow notices that I'm carrying a step ladder. He gets up off his porch
and hobbles to his front gate. I'm thinking, he's either put a nail through the ball
of his foot or he broke his ankle when he was young and it never healed
properly, I decide on the later. I know this guy.
Oh. Sorry, you're probably wondering why I'm on my way to the ER. I
unfortunately put a piece of metal through one of my fingers and was unable to
extract it on my own. I know, you're wondering why I need a step ladder there? I
don't, it's the piece of metal that pierced my finger. Why am I walking? That's
easy, I couldn't fit the step ladder into the car.
Anyway, back to this old guy, like I said, I know him. Well, I don't know his
name but I know his type. He's one of those "tough as nails" guys, and I think
this one might even be the hammer that hits those nails. His skin is like rhino
hide, he'll see a doctor once in his lifetime, at his birth. There will be one to
pronounce him dead too, but, because he's dead, technically that's still only
once. I can see he's broken his nose a couple of times, because it goes both
ways. Probably stuck his head in a bucket of ice to keep the swelling down, his
nose is still pressed against his right cheek. He's got a number of scars on his
head. It looks like his left ear has been frozen at least once. I'm sure he's
outdone me on accidents. He pulls out a cigarette, sure, why not blacken the
lungs as well. When he opens his mouth I can see he's only got two teeth, no
dentists in his life, probably pulls his own teeth with a pair of fencing pliers.
Even though one of the teeth is in the top and the other in the bottom, they are
not strategically situated, he wrenches his lower jaw to the left so he can hold
the cigarette between the two teeth so his lips can move while he talks to me.
That explains the orange stain running up the left side of his face to a discolored
eyebrow. He mumbles to me that he can free my finger from the ladder. Of
course, his left hand is missing the pinkie, the ring finger has only one knuckle,
the middle finger stops at the second knuckle, the pointer is intact, sans
fingernail. The right hand is practically a mirror image of the left, except, he's
only got a nubbin for a thumb on the right. It doesn't take me long to deduce his
method of freeing my hand from the ladder. He probably has one of those tree
branch cutters in his shed. Oh, sure, no need to walk to the shed, he has a pair
in his back pocket. I tell him my pain threshold is not high enough but he says
whiskey will take care of that. Did you guess? Yes, he has a bottle in his other
back pocket. I still beg off and graciously thank him for the offer. When I turn to
continue my walk to the ER he calls out to me...
Have a great day
Loved
Saturday, October 1, 2016
October 2016
I just wanted to fly a kite. It wasn't quite windy enough for an easy lift, I had to run hard trying to create enough wind to get it airborne. I was watching it bounce along the ground as I ran right off the edge of a cliff. Sometimes the prairie hides those features. So there I was suspended in the air like the coyote just before he disappears from the frame, leaving downward motion lines. Lucky for me it wasn't like the Grand Canyon cliffs he usually found, it was the pit for the garbage dump at the beach, which really softened my landing. I shouldn't have to tell you that beach garbage is worse than city garbage, you should know that. My only course of action was an immediate hike straight into the lake. I was lucky again that there was a young man cleaning up his boat house because my clothes weren't coming out of the lake with me, he was kind enough to give me a pair of skater boy shorts. "Clothes make the man", they say. Well, I was feeling pretty young and decided to get a skate board and give it a go, don't get ahead of me now. I was thinking about how accident prone I had gotten since turning 60 when I remembered a scaffold incident in 2003, I was only 52 then. It was a six story fall, I hit so many braces and planks on my way down I was going so slow when I rolled off the bottom plank I was able to land on my feet. The loading dock accident happened in my forties, the driver pulled away just as I was loading the last box of tile, they were foot by foot ceramics before they helped to break my fall and became mosaics. Memory has me in my early thirties when I became wedged beneath a boiler, I was stuck for so long they had to flood the floor to keep me hydrated, they fed me sandwiches on a hockey stick. It was the week of my 21st birthday when I got smashed in the forehead with a slab of granite, I was carrying a slab when it happened and I managed to keep my wits and finish carrying it down the hallway in the legislative building. A few ladies were swooning and a couple of others fainted at the sight of me, I knew I didn't have the looks or presence of a movie star but I also knew I wasn't hideous either, so I was confused until I wiped the sweat from my face and forehead and ended up with a mitt full of blood. Wow, did I really become accident prone at 21. Then I searched for my earliest memory. I was leaning against the south wall of Sacred Heart School when my nose suffered a blow from a home run ball. The sky turned black, well, actually, everything turned black. When the light returned there were a few dozen kids screaming at me and another half dozen crying. I look down and see somebody has painted my white t-shirt red, and some of the paint is dripping from my chin. Next thing I know, what I thought was an angel swooped me up in her arms, turned out it was only a nun. I was 7 at the time, my nose was broken, mom said my head looked like a bowling ball by the time Tony walked me home. I broke my nose two more times in the next six weeks, so I'm going with 7, that's when it all started. Unless of course there are hospital records that would prove otherwise. Anyways, I think I'll leave the skateboarding to the kids.
Have a great day
Loved
Have a great day
Loved
Thursday, September 1, 2016
Sept 2016
Rome wasn't built in a day. That doesn't stop todays contractors from trying. Haste makes waste and often, accidents. I was preparing a subfloor for tile when it happened, I was using my favorite finishing trowel, one I can say I have troweled 10s of thousands of feet with. It has been worn and honed to a fine edge, an edge a Samurai would be honored to have on his sword. I had the overhead lights off and a flood shining across the floor, it helps to eliminate trowel marks. Some numpty kicked the cord, putting out the flood, causing me to lose my balance, just as I was swiping across the floor. I knew something odd had happened. When the overheads were turned on I saw some lumps on the floor. It took but a few seconds to realise they were my fingers. Shock, sometimes is a good thing, it protects you from panic, the first thing I thought was,"I'm pretty sure I'm going to need those". You have to understand, the cuts were precision, scalpel grade, a world class surgeon would be envious. Not only that, I had taken Betty Jo's advice and had bought myself some flesh colored duct tape, this surgery was going to be a breeze. I was fast too, within minutes they were in place, neatly cleaned and taped. You know those jig saw puzzles? The good ones, the pieces fit great, they're challenging, and every once in a while a piece will fit perfect and even looks like it's right but it actually isn't. Well, I taped my forefinger to my pinkie stub and my pinkie to my forefinger stub. Now listen, there were a lot of things I wanted to be when I was a little boy, the strongest man alive, the fastest man alive, the man with the nicest hair (ok, that dream died early) the greatest golfer, the best swimmer ( I might just be the best dog paddler), Roy Rogers, Davy Crockett, the fastest draw, Spiderman, Batman, Superman, dad. Never, in all my dreaming did I ever dream of being a circus freak. I had to change my fingers back. The resurgery went well and when the doctors examed it at the hospital they stated they couldn't have done better. They wanted to know where I learned the skill, "On the job". I said. "I've done dozens of successful surgeries". I didn't tell them they were all on me. I asked if I could play the guitar, they said "Sure". So I'm out shopping for a Stratocaster. I'm excited, I've never played a guitar.
Have a great day
Loved
Have a great day
Loved
Saturday, August 6, 2016
Some time in August
I know, I'm really late. That's what happens when your life passes before your eyes.
I like people, I just don't like them in large numbers. It happened the July 1st weekend, which was my first mistake, visiting Halifax on the July long. I was minding my own business, standing on the end of Purdy's wharf on the Halifax Harbour. I'm not saying I'm not a tourist, I'm jut not a good one. A hoard of them swarmed Purdy's in a mad rush to see all they could see in the shortest amount of time. In their rush they bumped me off the end of the wharf. YES! Into the North Atlantic. First thing I realized when I hit the water, after how cold it was...I lost my hat. When I fought my way back to the surface, it was floating a few meters away. Just then one of those life savers hit the water a few meters on the other side. Priorities. I didn't want my head to burn. By the time I dog paddled to my hat the life saver had drifted into the current and was heading east, the numpty who threw it to me forgot to tie off the other end so it's on it's way to Scotland. Lucy, if you find a lifesaver on the East Sands, it's mine. Now I've pretty much dog paddled my self to exhaustion, thus, my life passing before my eyes incident. You know, it's the usual, breaking my nose ( three times in six weeks in grade one), getting a fish hook in my leg and hoping my sister didn't notice, meeting Deanie, having kids and grandkids, you know, the whole nine yards. I'm just thinking about the next reunion I'll miss when I start to go under. Of course! The last thing I see is my pet peeve, probably bothers me more than the lint in the dryer bothered dad. People's litter floating on the water, damn humankind. Hey! There's a carton floating with a French fry in it, it has gravy and a cheese curd with it...Ha! Poutine, my last supper, just before I head under. I'm going to do it like in the movies, leave one hand up 'til the end. What's this? Just before it joins the rest of me it grabs another piece of litter...a plastic water bottle. Huh? I stop sinking, it's helping me float, I see another one, ha, ha, water wings. There's another and another, they're all over the place, I start slipping them under my shirt and up my pant legs, I'm so buoyant I look like the Michelin man, my clothes will be dry by the time I walk to shore. God bless humanity.
Have a great day
I like people, I just don't like them in large numbers. It happened the July 1st weekend, which was my first mistake, visiting Halifax on the July long. I was minding my own business, standing on the end of Purdy's wharf on the Halifax Harbour. I'm not saying I'm not a tourist, I'm jut not a good one. A hoard of them swarmed Purdy's in a mad rush to see all they could see in the shortest amount of time. In their rush they bumped me off the end of the wharf. YES! Into the North Atlantic. First thing I realized when I hit the water, after how cold it was...I lost my hat. When I fought my way back to the surface, it was floating a few meters away. Just then one of those life savers hit the water a few meters on the other side. Priorities. I didn't want my head to burn. By the time I dog paddled to my hat the life saver had drifted into the current and was heading east, the numpty who threw it to me forgot to tie off the other end so it's on it's way to Scotland. Lucy, if you find a lifesaver on the East Sands, it's mine. Now I've pretty much dog paddled my self to exhaustion, thus, my life passing before my eyes incident. You know, it's the usual, breaking my nose ( three times in six weeks in grade one), getting a fish hook in my leg and hoping my sister didn't notice, meeting Deanie, having kids and grandkids, you know, the whole nine yards. I'm just thinking about the next reunion I'll miss when I start to go under. Of course! The last thing I see is my pet peeve, probably bothers me more than the lint in the dryer bothered dad. People's litter floating on the water, damn humankind. Hey! There's a carton floating with a French fry in it, it has gravy and a cheese curd with it...Ha! Poutine, my last supper, just before I head under. I'm going to do it like in the movies, leave one hand up 'til the end. What's this? Just before it joins the rest of me it grabs another piece of litter...a plastic water bottle. Huh? I stop sinking, it's helping me float, I see another one, ha, ha, water wings. There's another and another, they're all over the place, I start slipping them under my shirt and up my pant legs, I'm so buoyant I look like the Michelin man, my clothes will be dry by the time I walk to shore. God bless humanity.
Have a great day
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